Magical Memories

Dusk in the Smokies

That November evening was clear and cool. Early darkness had settled in, as happens on the cusp of winter.  The park, nestled in the Smoky Mountains, was lit, seemingly just for us. Very few people were there that night. The trees twinkled with Christmas lights, music filled the air, the sweet taste of warm chocolate chip cookies and steaming cups of hot chocolate felt good to both the body and soul.

My aunt was visiting, and she, along with my mother and six year old son, made my evening complete. Every light, every sound was just for us….the beauty was ours to savor.

The previous year had been a struggle, learning how to live as a widow…my new role in life….but, that night…..was different.

That evening was a special celebration–a time to enjoy. That evening God granted me time to delight, to feel, to really see and just be in the moment. I still hold that special time close to my heart, over a decade later.

Memories are something I am thankful for.

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This day I am thankful for:

* good memories that continue to make me smile

* hard memories that I learned something from

* the opportunity for second chances

* eggs for breakfast

* the opportunity to go to Finders Keepers one more time before the stored closed

* pets, I love my animals so much!

* old friendships renewed

* painting word pictures

* lunch out with my husband

* chores completed

* my head on a soft pillow

* new objects to decorate with

* warm sunshine

* things I look forward to

Getting Real With The Girl In The Mirror

Supervised physical therapy may be helpful to ...

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I’m getting real…and it’s scary. I’m not “frightened” scared, more of a “can I do this?” kind of scared.

Stress over eating weighs heavy. That would be funny, if it wasn’t so serious. It’s an issue. From what I read, and hear, and see, weight and eating issues are killing many of us. Sure, there are health issues that accompany weight loss or gain (depending on what you are dealing with and both can be dangerous) but, I’m talking about these issues killing us–on the inside.

When I was in high school and college, I was slender. I look back at pictures from my past and see how skinny my arms were. Seriously. I didn’t struggle to zip my jeans, and everything was in it’s natural place (unlike now….did I mention I hate gravity more and more?).

But, even then, I would look at others that I went to school with, and I’d feel fat.

When I was in high school I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Now, that particular diagnosis won’t make one GAIN weight, but it sure does make it VERY DIFFICULT to lose once it’s there. Anyone who has this disease knows that her metabolism is slow. It has betrayed her. I know from personal experience that I’ve always had to do two to three times as much exercise as the average gal, to see the same results. In college I danced for hours on end, took an aerobics class, and did weight training.

As an adult I did circuit training five to six days a week and power walked 16-20 miles a week. I felt like I couldn’t quit. If I did, I’d gain the weight. Who can keep up with that kind of schedule for forever? Life happens. Babies are birthed. How does one fit in the needed exercise when everyone else NEEDS you and your time?

The weight came…and the older I get, the more difficult it is to lose. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder what happened?

Weight watchers and Nutri System, T-Tapp, and weighted hoola hoops, and walking with a friend in the early morning hours. And yet still, the image in the mirror is not what I long to see.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.

And just so you know….for the most part, I have a healthy self-esteem. I know I am much more than the girl in the mirror. I get that. I really do. But, still……

As, I have been considering all this, something happened. I know it is a “God thing”. I was reading my Bloom book club site, and there was Lysa TerKeurst talking about her new book, Made to Crave. I read the excerpt. I listened to her video clip. It was if this woman was talking directly to me, and my ponderings about what I was going to do about my struggles with exercise and eating.

I ordered the book. I should get it by early next week. I am ready to begin looking at things differently…not my perspective, but God’s. Now, some of you might be thinking, “God, is too big to care about my weight issues.” That is not true. If it bothers you, than it concerns Him. I believe He wants me healthy. Am I willing to lay my burden of this roller coaster ride of health and weight at His feet.? Can I admit, that I cannot do this in my own power? I need Him? I cannot do it alone–I’ve tried, but it doesn’t last.

Listen to Lysa as she talks about her book. I’m sure she will inspire you, as she did, me.

Has anyone else read her book? What are some things you are doing to lose weight? Move more? Grow closer in your walk with the Lord?

Will you share?

I’m At Critical Mass

I've been sick for a couple of weeks now. I we...

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I’m sitting here in bed with my laptop propped on my knees. Yes, it’s a Monday morning and yes, I have a list of things to do…and yet, here I am. I am sick. I’ve had the crud for the past 3 days,which by the way totally ruined my weekend. I am now at stage 3 of my cold. I am at the “sneeze until you have no brains left”  critical mass, stage. I have a pile of tissues on my night stand along with throat lozenges and other sundry types of medication. Gross, right? My big scientific question of the day is this—How in the world can so much snot get in one’s head? Really. Seriously. I’m sick of snot.  My nose is raw….not my most attractive look.

Last night I probably slept all of about 2 hours. The rest of the time I coughed. And coughed some more. Oh yeah, and a little  more coughing in there for good measure. You get the picture. The more I wanted to sleep, the more I couldn’t because my throat was dry and I coughed so hard I thought for sure I’d see my lung laying beside me. So, my throat is dry and my head is full of snot. This is just a cruel joke. To make it even worse, my sweet husband was sleeping like a rock. So unfair. I watched him sleep for awhile…just for my own amusement. I thought about giving him subliminal messages in his sleep about what a wonderful wife he has……see what happens when I’m awake in the middle of the night….and bored?

Since I was already awake at 3:15 am I thought, “well, I’ll just go to the bathroom”….you know for something to do. On the way to my destination I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I scared myself. All I have to say is I have a renewed respect for my dear husband. He still loves me even when I look like THAT. Just sayin’.

My boys had this yuck last week. I’m sure it was they that infected me with the crud. It’s all their fault. I think I will sneeze on them today as retribution. Or cough on their lunch. Or something to make myself feel better. At least all my kids are teens. It’s not like I HAVE to get up and do anything for them. They can forage for themselves. Or starve. The choice is theirs.

When Mom is sick….the whole house suffers. It’s the law of nature. I’m sure I read that somewhere.