365 Days…

Some days can seem so very long, the click of the passing minutes echoing like a time bomb. On those days I think, “I just want this day done”! Other times, the moments slip through my grasp like tiny grains of sand. I want those moments back, but they are gone forever. 2018 will be complete in just a few short hours. As I think back over the months that created the year 2018, I smile and I cry. There were wonderful times and hard times. Nothing special and everything special, because isn’t that just life? Filled full of both good and bad. And yet, moments that instantly turned to memories, and I don’t want to forget.

On this New Year’s Eve I don’t want to write about parties or plans.

I just want to reach out and touch your hand.

I don’t want to worry about pain or age.

I am just happy to turn the next page.

As this year comes to an end, I want to think about how words can mend…

How love can heal, how God is good, knowing what is real, and doing what I could.

I want to consider what I can do to make 2019 better for you.

Sometimes The Sound Is Deafening

The morning is gray and still and it feels like rain is in the air, but who knows, that can change in a second around here. A Monday in mid-July, that is the beginning of a cool spell that is to arrive in the area. Not to offend all my summer, heat loving, friends but, the thought occurred to me this morning that October is less than three months away. My favorite time of the year. Not too hot, and not too cold, as Goldilocks would say, “just right”.

Weeks passing and months passing and I mull that over on the way back from the barn.

Time doesn’t stop. The moments speed along whether I’m “in” the moment or not. Although I love Fall, I am not ready for it to get here yet. This Fall brings changes to my life, and to those that I love. My son starts his freshman year of college in late August. He will be roughly four hours away in the land of frozen tundra (Michigan to those who don’t know). I am thrilled for him, and he has earned this chapter of his life…but, things will change. I’m not sure yet how I feel about that. Sigh.

My daughter begins her senior year in high school. The year will consist of finishing classes, ACT testing, senior pictures, filling out applications, and making a decision about a college or career. The culmination of years of work will be graduation. When she walks across the stage it will be both the beginning of a new chapter for her, and the end of mine and my husband’s days as parents of school age kids.

Everyone is an adult now. Being independent, making their own decisions. Our oldest son, is already out on his own, making his way in the world, and living with his own choices.

Time ticks off the minutes and sometimes the sound is deafening.

One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, says that in order to slow down time one needs to see the moments and be thankful. When we are thankful we enjoy the time more, we see things more clearly, and are grateful to God who gave us this life.

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Today I am thankful for: 

*beautiful glowing super moon that lit up the yard with its light last night

*giving belly rubs to the dogs

*a cat in the lap

*a new way of eating that makes me feel so much better and healthier

*ripe summertime tomatoes

*fresh blueberries

*HGTV marathons:)

*inside jokes with my husband

*my husband, who loves me….even when I am feeling unloveable

*kids that are no longer kids….my children, all grown up

*gray morning sky

*turning back toward the house after getting the mail, and being awestruck by the azure sky and white clouds

*stopping in the driveway and raising my arms in the air, so overwhelmed with the beauty of nature, and yelling “THANK YOU, GOD” at the top of my lungs…. my voice echoing back to me off the side of the metal barn. I believe God has a sense of humor and no one can convince me otherwise. I think after that outburst God gave me a fist bump. 🙂

 

 

 

The Daily Becomes Joy

The moments….the moments, are fleeting. Those moments that are brief glimpses of joy. Those sweet seconds that might never happen again, because time never stops and the clock keeps ticking. Oh, this flickering joy. The kind that brings a smile to both the mind and the heart. That is why it remains so important to see the moments when they happen…while you are living them, and to be present.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today the refrigerator thermostat gave out and the food is going warm on a hot summer day. Scramble to keep things chilled. Husband rigged something up to temporarily keep heat at bay. I may as well clean the glass shelves in the refrigerator while we’re at it. Things could always be worse and the shelves needed cleaning anyway.

The farmer across the road and the farmer behind us are baling hay. The tractors roar and the large round bales sit like rural sculptures in the fields, pretty against the green. The view from the kitchen window makes me slow smile, as I continue to wash the shelves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One load of laundry hums in the dryer and another in the washer. Always more to do. Laundry is never done, only managed. Some days even that is not possible. But, I am happy for it. Clean clothes, such a simple thing, really.

This dog, that I love so much, he is a terrier. He sheds and sheds some more. His white fur is swept up off the floor, small tumbleweeds of fluff. He won’t be with us forever and I will miss his fluff. I pet his head and enjoy his big brown eyes now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturdays. How many are in a lifetime? How many days of dogs licks, and loads of laundry? How many fields full of beauty seen through my kitchen window? And how many times will I open and close my refrigerator door? Nothing life altering…and yet, it is. The simple becomes more, and the daily becomes joy.

Time Spent Together Is Never Wasted

I received my COUNTRY magazine in the mail this weekend. As I browsed through the magazine, my eyes fell on an article about rediscovering the art of visiting, by Carole Christman Koch. I agreed with the author, that families and friends used to visit a lot more than they do now. I personally have many wonderful memories of Thursday night, family visits, to my grandparent’s house. I remember Tuesday nights were grocery shopping nights with my mom, aunt and little sister. There were many happy days spent with aunts, uncles and cousins. I would go to friends’ houses and they to mine. That kind of thing rarely happens anymore. Everyone grew up and went their own way. Life became complicated and busy. Schedules were tight and the calendar overflowed with activities.

And what the soul really needed, longed for, is rest.

Visiting used to be that way.

No real agenda. No fancy food or drinks.

Just good company.

Yesterday, my husband and I hosted our son’s graduation party at our house. I’ll be honest, it was a lot of work to get everything ready, and I definitely needed help with it all, but the visiting part was pure joy. Chairs on the deck, drinking sweet tea, and sharing life. One of our friends said, “We live so close…we will invite you over soon. This has been really nice.”

And he was right. It was nice connecting with others…and it is good for us all.

Time spent together is never wasted.

 

When Did The Days Become Years?

Twenty-four hours, never seems like enough.

Don’t we all feel the way the moments of sand slip through the hour glass of time?

When did the days become years?

And why wasn’t I truly awake to see them?

Oh, my eyes work, but often times I miss what is right in front of me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Capture the pictures with eyes wide open.

Heart moments.

The moments that really matter.

The ones that will be remembered for all the times to come.

 

“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand.” – Psalm 31:14-15, ESV

 

How Precious Time Is

Thumbing through my planner, I see the days laid out before me.

Ink is scattered across the pages with names and times. Full. Busy.

Life passing by, another page turned, another day comes to an end.

The days sometimes can seem so long, but the weeks, they fly.

Before I know it, time slips through my grasp and another year is gone.

I try and remember that fact when my day is hard.

How precious time is.

 

 

 

 

Mish Mash of 2013

I was going to start this blog post with something profound. Something about this being the last day of the year. Something about not looking back, just looking to the future. I think all those things are important…..but, I have an overwhelming urge to just blurt out all the things from 2013. Isn’t that how life really is? We rarely have life happen the way we penned it into our calendars. Things happen that often blindside us. Sometimes good things happen when we least expect them, if we are not attentive we might miss them entirely. Happiness, joy and a full heart. At other times, hard, difficult things happen. Tears and pain can overwhelm us.

I don’t know about you, but I often times am reminded just how small I really am in the scope of time. Small maybe, but not insignificant. My life matters because Christ says it does. My life has purpose in Him and through Him.

Time is something I fight on a daily basis but, the God I serve isn’t chained to calendars and clocks. There is never enough time, or too much and I’m bored. Grasping at moments I never want to forget, and longing to blot out the embarrassments or mishaps of situations gone wrong. All the moments, both good and bad, woven together into the tapestry of my life. Not one second goes by that God does not see. When I struggle with what the future might hold, when worry threatens to tear me apart, and fear of the unknown lurks in the darkness….God reminds me that He is already there. There are no surprises to Him who knows all things. That is so true, you know. Nothing happens to me (or you, either!) that comes as a surprise to The Almighty.

My year in one minute…..let’s see how fast I can type!

Early morning sunrises, breathtaking purples and pinks, quiet stillness and peaceful moments, llamas, dogs, cats, chickens, and a horse, losing my sweet pets Junior and Salem, crying at having to say goodbye, snowflakes and cold wind, crunchy earth, blue skies and standing in the front yard in the midst of green grass and a million yellow dandelions, geese honking, muddy driveway, favorite jeans, and warm sweaters, a trip to Costa Rica, my first time using a passport, making new friends, reconnecting with old ones, getting A’s in my grad classes, rekindling my passion for those on the autism spectrum, a visit from our grandson, the zoo, water rides, and the county fair, living on the deck, church family, camps, missionary speakers, car wrecks, safety of family members, Skyping, visiting with family, laughter, and smiles, Fun Kitchen Fridays and baking new things, shopping, finding new stores, vintage, teaching and learning and second chances. Car trips and 20 questions game, laughing and yelling. Music and radio and hearing my son’s voice. A warm house, cozy blankets and a pillow for my weary head. Kids growing up, and me growing closer to my husband. Moments that I’ve learned to see in the midst of the daily. Blessed so blessed.

Early Morning

Early morning. 

Dark and quiet, except for the lonely yips and howls of the coyotes in the field across the road.

Snow flurries visible through the glimmer of the porch light.

The world is just now shaking off the slumber of another night.

I’m in a contemplative mood at this early morning hour.

The year, 2013, is winding down and I am left wondering where the time went.

The older I get, the more quickly the sand seems to fall through the hour glass.

Remembering what is truly important… Making the moments matter…Realizing that the time is now.

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Thankful for:

*quiet mornings

*friendship

*listening to my son on the radio

*new experiences

*a fresh, new calendar

*the lonely yip of the neighboring coyote

*starting a new book

*hot coffee

*a new day

*laughter

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens… Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV

Throwback Thursday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This picture was taken seven years ago…..

I look back at the kids and they look so young.

I laugh out loud at their crazy antics.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time goes by so quickly…..

Such Simple Things

I looked across the house and through the living room window. The clouds were starting to darken.

Dark gray underbellies, scudding across the sky. I thought that I had better go feed the animals before the rain came.

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Isn’t that the way? Never. Enough. Time.

On the way back from the barn I stopped. I made myself slow down. I breathed. I noticed the trees.

Such simple things, really.

Their leaves changing colors, popped against the darkening sky.

A smile curved the lips.

I felt kind of silly standing in the middle of the yard, before the rain came, just staring at trees.

Fiery beauty. God’s painting.

Autumn was coming.