Note To Self

Note to self on this day and every day…… 

I wrote this post a couple of years ago. I needed to remind myself of it again.

Maybe you, too?

Canon Deluxe Backpack 200 EG

The backpack is far too heavy for me. I am hunched over from the struggle of having to carry it.

It strains me almost to the point of exhaustion.

I’m weighed down by everything I have shoved in there.

Finances.

Relationships.

Marriage.

The Daily Routine.

The Mundane.

Accidents.

Decisions.

Weather.

School.

Children.

The past.

The future.

Illness.

Health.

The things of life, that I worry over.

Each one seemingly so important that I feel I must carry it.

These things that I continually shove in my own personal backpack.

Sometimes it is so full I can’t even zip it shut. Just when I think there is room for nothing else…I squeeze another worry in.

I cannot continue like this.

“Father, this is so difficult for me. I don’t want to worry, but worry creeps back to me. I say I trust You. I give you the backpack, but then I take it back again. The worry feels comfortable to me…even if it is painful.

Father, will you help me? Help me to trust you more. I need your words fromMatthew 6:34 to soothe my tired back. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.”

Lord, you are so much more capable to carry my burdens than I am. Forgive me for not trusting you more.

Everyone Struggles

Everyone struggles.

Everyone.

Sometimes the struggles are evident and easy for all to see. They are “in your face”, blatant. Raw.

Sometimes the struggles are more subtle.

Either way, the days can seem so very hard.

There are times in life when we find ourselves walking in the valley. In this deep valley the shadows are long. The path ahead is rough and hard and it is easy to trip in the darkness. Bruised and broken.  Moving forward, but still holding on to the past.

Life is hard. It always is.

A former pastor once said, “In life, there are three places…When we are heading into a difficult time, we’re in the middle of a difficult time, or just coming through a difficult time.” It’s true.

I don’t like the difficult times. No one does. I fight through them.

The battles leave me weary.

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I’m not the only one who has ever walked through the valley…it seems that David also understood. These life struggles are nothing new.

 

Hear my cry, O God;
    listen to my prayer.

 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
    I call as my heart grows faint;
    lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
 For you have been my refuge,
    a strong tower against the foe.

 I long to dwell in your tent forever
    and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Psalm 61:1-4 NIV

He Delivers

Today at, A Holy Experience,  we will be finishing our writing on the practice of fasting.

I know there are many people that choose to “fast” for this season. To give up something… or to let something go. I don’t celebrate Lent in this way. Although, there is something to be said for preparing ones self in the days leading up to Easter. To look inwardly (each of us personally) and know what our heart holds. It is when we are honest and see ourselves for what we truly are….that we can begin to understand the need for a Redeemer.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  Romans 7  NIV

Last week, I started a new health and wellness program. After much reading and researching, I have committed to this program. I knew that I would have to give up things that I have grown to love. Things that are unhealthy, and bad for me, but that I’ve allowed to set a precedent in my life.

And it is hard.

The body wants, what the body wants. Temptation is all around. There is never a greater battle to be fought, than the one that we fight within ourselves. I can understand what Paul meant when he said that he wants to do the right thing, but he keeps doing the things he doesn’t want to do. It becomes more and more, not about giving up sugar or processed foods, but about me. My opportunity is to lay even this seemingly simple, mundane thing down at the feet of Christ. To know within myself that I, not only can’t do this eating program alone, I would miserably fail.

Thank the Lord, that He did not leave me a prisoner to my own sin. Not to fight my own battles, whatever they may be, not to struggle with the day to day events that are frustrating…or those incidences that leave me feeling insecure or unsure.

So, it is in the giving up, I find the pouring out. In the laying down, I find the rising up.

And it is in Christ, I find that He alone is who I need.

13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4 NIV

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