I thought I’d read back through my blog archives from last summer. To make a long story short…nothing much has changed. It’s still summer a year later…. and it’s still hot. I still can’t wait for Fall to arrive. I look so much cuter when I’m not sweating. Just sayin’.
Because laughter always makes things better……I hope you enjoy the “oldies but goodies” that I’ve picked out of my file:)
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Beat The Heat
Ice cubes in a tray (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Image via Wikipedia
It is a hot, humid, sticky, stifling Monday morning in west central Ohio. I know there are a lot of people dealing with temperatures much hotter than the 90′s, but it’s still hot, regardless. I could gripe about the heat (and I probably will, because I am not above whining), but I will begin today’s blog with being thankful that we have a working air conditioner in the house.
The last severe heat wave we had, the air conditioner was not working. We couldn’t catch a breeze and I was quickly melting in a pool of sweat. It was a gross and disgusting scene. Just trust me on that. Moist skin, hair plastered to my head, and a sweat mustache are not my most beautiful look. Needless to say, I was happy to see the temps eventually drop. Now, this week, I am looking at 95 degree temps again.
Have I mentioned that I enjoy the laid back spirit of summer? But, not so laid back that I drop over dead on the lawn from heat stroke. Just sayin’. Don’t waste your time telling me I am a heat wimp…because I won’t even fight you on that point. I will just agree with you and then request that you go and get me some more ice cubes for my tea…..or fan me……or spray me with the water hose. That’s just how I roll.
The dog days of summer are very real at my house. The outside dogs just lay around in the shade, and pant a lot. I make sure their water bowls are always full. I tell them to drink up. I’m seriously considering buying them a kiddy pool. They can lay around in it and I can bring them their water bowls with little umbrellas in them.
I’m already thinking ahead. Three months from now will be October 18th. Aaahhh….cool days and crisp nights. My perfect season…..Autumn, I miss you. Please hurry. Before I melt.
Well, it’s off to find something to wear today. Something cool…..but, still decent. And legal.
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They’re Coming To Take Me Away…
Image via Wikipedia
On this incredibly stinkin’ hot day in the rural Midwest, I thought we could all use a good dose of humor. I will allow you to laugh at my expense. Dawn vs. Nature. It is not a pretty sight.
I thought that we had moved to a picturesque setting in the rural farmland of Ohio. Actually, this turned out to be true, although I had no idea the other critters that had also chose to live alongside us on our little slice of land. In the Spring we had a raccoon under the deck. This visitor caused our dogs to nearly go berserk. At 3 am in the morning. The dogs couldn’t get to the “scared out of his wits” raccoon, and the raccoon was NOT coming out with two “Cujos” on the loose. There was not much sleeping going on that night for anyone in a five mile radius of our house.
We have a ground hog that has a vacation home down where our property meets the road. He is quiet and keeps to himself. Every time I see him, The Wind and The Willows comes to mind.
We have Bambi and family that trek across our side yard on a fairly regular basis. Fun to watch, unless one decides to jump out directly in front of the the family van….then it is a little scary. The other night my husband laid some rubber on the road when he braked hard not to hit a deer that literally came out of nowhere, directly in front of us. My heart was hammering in my chest during that little moment, as I was nearly decapitated by the stupid shoulder strap safety belt. Are there any statistics on death by shoulder strap?
In August and September we have the gnat plague. Where in the world do gnats come from? Honestly, there is no food sitting out, nothing like that….they just appear like clockwork. In August. They stay for two months and the family chases them around with the bug zapper before they disappear, or are inadvertently eaten, as they are always in my way while fixing dinner. Um…they look like pepper. Sorry. I looked gnats up on the internet. They are a nuisance, but harmless and will not kill anyone if eaten. I don’t know why they come here. It’s one of life’s mysteries.
In late Fall and early winter the field mice decide that it is time for them to head toward their winter retreat. The retreat happens to be our garage, and if they are slick enough….the main living quarters. This does not set well with me. At all. I hate mice with a white hot passion. They mock me, as they scratch around in the walls. I find myself yelling at them ….and I know I am not imagining that I hear the faint sound of laughter. Go ahead and laugh! It’s all fun and games until I start laying out glue traps. Stinkin’ little fur balls. Then who will be laughing? I digress…….mice put me in a precarious mental state.
We are currently battling a horse fly population that has reached biblical proportions. Now, before I moved to Ohio I thought I had seen horse flies. I was wrong….at least not like these. I didn’t realize the name horse fly accurately described the SIZE of the fly. These flies are huge. Their heads are the size of my thumb nail. I am not kidding. One has to make a run for it when leaving or entering the house. If one should linger too long on the deck, there is a great possibility that said person could possibly be carried off by the mutant horse fly gang. They dive bomb anyone on the deck, like miniature Kamikaze pilots.
I better go. I’m heading out to the deck.
I think I’ll take the electric bug zapper with me. It reminds me of a lightsaber.
Just call me Luke Skywalker.
Related articles
- Ways to Beat the Heat (inyourneighbourhood.wordpress.com)
- How To Survive a Heat Wave (theredneckmommy.com)
- How you can keep cool during the coming heat wave (abc4.com)
It Just Dawned On Me 