Stream Of Consciousness

The Waltons

Image via Wikipedia

I’m having one of THOSE days. Not a bad day, just the kind of day that I can’t seem to sit still and put two coherent thoughts together. You know what I mean? It’s not dementia. It’s being Dawn. This happens to me on occasion. Sometimes I will tell my family members, as I’m staring straight at them, I see your mouth moving…but, what did you just say? Sometimes this happens twice in a row. I can’t help it. I need to learn to read lips.

So, because I am physically unable to write anything even remotely “put together” today…I came up with just going all stream of consciousness on you. Did I say that correctly?  I sincerely hope you can follow along, and not just think I’m nuts. (because that is an entirely different story)

Alarm clock went off—Hit the snooze—Overslept by 45 minutes, go figure—Shot out of bed, giving myself a little vertigo—Ran to bathroom, got a look at scary morning self in the mirror, screamed.—Went out to kitchen, had son (who was already up) flip on the news for me—started coffee and breakfast—went with dog to wake up other 2 children–Dog barked and jumped, he is a good “waker upper”. —-Lit new lilac candle, hoping it will mask smell of dog vomit.–Um, dog took his antibiotics on a not full stomach. Opps. Yuck.—Vacuumed rugs and floor, chased pet fur around the room. Pet fur is much like dandelions after they turn white and blow everywhere in sight. Just sayin’—-Put dishes in dishwasher, then realized that the coffee mug I wanted was in there, dug it out and washed by hand.  I have a bazillion coffee mugs, but I wanted that one. Weirdo. —

Promise myself that I will balance checkbook today, been meaning to do that for the past 3 days. Oh, well.–Cat curled up in basket in my library–my blanket basket, my WHITE blanket basket. I cannot keep anything out that the cats do not lay on. I hate cat fur. I tolerate cats, and not even that very well. Though I do love them, which makes me mad because I don’t want to. Arggh. I’m still more of a dog person. Much more.—The orange creamsicle candle I got from Wmart does not smell like an orange creamsicle. It doesn’t really smell much at all. What a rip off. Note to self, do not buy these types of candles anymore.

I need to decide what is for dinner. I have no idea. ugh. I need to prepare menus more often. It would probably help, but where is the fun in that? The sun has not been out today, but at least it has not rained. All 3 of the kiddos have test(s) to take in their home school work today. They are thrilled. Not. The Waltons are on the Hallmark Channel. I like to watch them in the afternoon while I’m fixing dinner, which I still have no idea about. I better go. I have a feeling this evening will be interesting.

I promise to have a REAL blog post tomorrow. Have a fun weekend everyone. Can I have ice cream for dinner? Um. I’m just kidding…..really.

And by the way, if there are any spelling errors you’ll just have to forgive me. If this post made no sense to you, don’t worry…it didn’t to me either.

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I’m Not Bald Yet

Math problem M.2 (Grade 8) Thailand # Solution2

Image by arjin j via Flickr

I was planning on doing a wonderful blog on President Bush’s new book, Decision Points. I was thinking informative. Captivating. Maybe some humor thrown in for good measure. Yep. It was all planned…in my mind.

Then life happened.

This is how my day actually went:

1. Overslept.

2. Almost tripped going to the bathroom.

3. The bathroom vent bird fluttered and carried on and scared me a little bit. (I’m thinking that a gang of small birds are finding their way into my family’s attic. Either that or we’ve got bats in the belfry–and if you think for one red hot New York minute that I’m checking THAT out, well you’ve got another thing comin’. Because I know that bats are just little vampires in disguise.)

4. I was grinding my own coffee beans and managed to spill half of it on the counter while attempting to get it in the coffee pot. Okay. Trying this again.

5. I went grocery shopping and as I’m walking out of the store, loaded down with massive amounts of food and junk…it begins to rain and the wind blows and I’m shoveling stuff into the van, and did I mention it was raining and I didn’t have my jacket on, and it was cold too. So, yeah. Bummer for me.

6. On the way home I listened to Rush Limbaugh. ( I know you either love him or hate him. I love him. Don’t say anything nasty to me. To each their own, people.)

7. So as I’m listening I’m getting riled up….what is the deal with the TSA guys at the airport doing pat downs on people’s crotches? I mean really, people. Is this what it’s coming down to? Is everyone going to be molested at the airport now? Whether you are an 80 year old grandpa, or a 10 year old school girl? For the love of pete! I might have to blog about this subject later, after I’ve calmed down a bit.

8. I tried to feed the cats without the dogs eating their food. The dogs are crazy. But, I’m crazier.

9. I helped my son with his algebra assignment tonight. After an hour of mathematical torture we were both getting a bit slap happy.

10. This is when I started singing to him in the kitchen…a song I made up about algebra. It made absolutely no sense. And I’m okay with that.

It was either laugh or pull my hair out….and I kinda like my hair, so I laughed.

Wandering Into The Unknown

Older refrigerator model, with freezer compartment

Image via Wikipedia

I put it off as long as I possibly could. I didn’t want to go there. But I had to do it.

A MOM’S JOB IS NEVER DONE…AND THE JOB CAN GET PRETTY GROSS!

Cleaning Out The Refrigerator 101

1. I’ve noticed for the past couple of weeks that leftovers have been piling up in the refrigerator.

2. Leftovers that certain people swore up and down that they planned on eating. Uh, huh.

3. Now said leftovers are either moldy, or rock hard and could be used as a weapon.

4. I found detox tea that I had made, well, I can’t tell you when I made it. Um….nasty stuff after sitting in the fridge since before time began.

5. In my defense the tea had been shoved to the back of the fridge. Out of sight, out of mind.

6. This never happens to my sweet tea. It is gone in no time, and I have to make more. I’m so pathetic. Sugar, yes. Detox, no. Don’t tell anyone.

7. Slices of pizza and old Subway subs do some really funky stuff if left to their own devices.

8. Cheese dip turns to glue.

9. Glue that sticks to you if you happen to get some on you. Not that, that happened to me.

10. The gag reflex is a marvelous thing.

11. How come mom’s end up with this job? And most of the stuff “leftover” in there…wasn’t even mine!

12. It was a little like Christmas.

13. A little “gift” all wrapped up in aluminum foil.

14. What will the surprise be?

15. Oh, wow. A piece of my son’s birthday cake…too bad his birthday was on October 13th!!!

16. No. I am not THAT desperate for chocolate.

17. Thank goodness.

18. After ridding the fridge of all the nasty evidence of my family’s slothfulness…

19. I wiped it all down with Clorox wipes. I love those things. Just sayin’.

20. Now, all is well with the world again. And the refrigerator is practically empty. Sigh. Time to start over.

Stuff That Irks Me

alarm clock, bought from IKEA

Image via Wikipedia

Sometimes I wake up and I’m just irked. Ticked off. Stuff rubs me the wrong way.

Today is…ONE…OF….THOSE…..DAYS.

1. I was in the middle of a good “drama” dream this morning when the alarm clock went off.

2. Ugh.

3. My oldest son, instead of going to his own bed, falls asleep on the couch AGAIN.

4. My kids are slow as slugs when it comes to getting their lazy selves up out of bed.

5. The trash needs to be taken out.

6. We always have a lot of trash.

7. I guess we are just a trashy family.

8. I guess we should recycle more.

9. We are saving aluminum cans.

10. Hey, that is a first step.

11. I’m not getting enough good sleep.

12. It affects me, in the worst way.

13. I’d love to live in a family that actually sleeps at NORMAL times.

14. Like the rest of the world.

15. I used to have a schedule.

16. Back in the day.

17. I need a massage.

18. I’m stressed.

19. It is a constant state.

20. Everyone needs to leave me alone.

21. I watched the news this morning. Big mistake.

22. Some people are idiots.

23. And there is nothing I can do about it.

24. How did these people get elected? What was the public thinking?

25. I can feel my blood pressure rising.

26.  I see that Ahmadinejad denies atrocities AGAIN.

27. What parallel universe does he live in?

28. We live in a bizarro world.

29. I need to go back to bed.

30. My weird dreams make more sense than reality.

Mom-ism’s

I have a book full of mom-ism’s. It always gives me a good laugh. I thought I’d share some today to give everyone a good chuckle. If you are a mom you will totally understand. If you are a son or daughter you will also “get it”.  I have chosen to add my own take on each of these  timeless nuggets of wisdom. Enjoy!

–I don’t know is not an answer! (and if I don’t know the answer either, I will fake it. I’m a mom, it’s my job.)

–I just want what’s best for you. (and what’s best for you is for you to do what I say.)

–If all the other kids jump off the bridge (or cliff) are you going to, too? ( Son, don’t answer that!….especially, if you have a child who would seriously try to be Evil Kneivel. Next thing you know you’re sitting in the emergency clinic.)

–If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. (I already know your opinion and I’m choosing to ignore it.)

–I’m not running a taxi service. (I’m finding out the going rate for taxis…I will be deducting it from your allowance.)

–Isn’t it past your bedtime? ( I don’t care if you are eighteen. Go to sleep already!)

–Life isn’t fair. (This is an understatement. Go with it.)

–Look at me when I’m talking to you. ( I will stare at you with laser beam eyes drilling through your head, until you look at me.)

–Now, say you’re sorry and act like you mean it. ( I said act like you mean it! Don’t stick out your tongue. Don’t roll your eyes. That’s it! I’m coming over there!)

–Some day you will thank me for this. (Yes, you will! You might be 92 when you come to this realization…but, I don’t care.)

–Some day when you have kids you’ll understand. ( Oh boy! I can’t wait. Grandchildren. Spoil them and send them home for YOU to deal with. Yea!  Revenge is sweet.)

–Were you born in a barn? ( Don’t think I haven’t thought about that. You and the horse could be room mates.)

–What part of NO don’t you understand? ( Am I speaking English…um…yes, yes I am. And the answer is still NO!)

–When I was a little girl… ( I never gave my parents one bit of grief. I was an angel straight from heaven. NO you may not call grandma to verify this fact. What, are you calling me a liar? Go to your room!)