When I Look Back

While scanning through my online mail, I opened up a favorite of mine, The Art of Simplicity. Tsh (yes, that is spelled correctly) had a guest writer this week, and her story was interesting. She ended with this question: Take a moment to ask yourself: what will I see when I look back?

The question resonated with me. When my days on this earth are winding down, will I be satisfied with what I see when I look back? Am I living the life that I want to be remembered for? Although it might sound kind of morbid to think about, if I can live with the end in mind, it will undoubtedly change how I live in the here and now. Don’t you agree that it is probably good for all of us to step back and reevaluate our lives? What is truly important?

What will my legacy be? How will my family and friends remember me? More importantly, will I hear the words, “Well done” from my heavenly Father?
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Matthew 25:23 

I want to be known as: 

* a wife that loves her husband and tries to show him that fact every day * a mother that loves her children and knew when to hold them close, and when to let them go * a daughter who loves her mom and shows how grateful she is for all her love and support * a sister who cherishes any time she can spend with her sibling* a friend who encourages and helps out when she can.* someone who has kind words and holds a hand * someone who isn’t afraid to cry both tears of joy and tears of pain * a woman who slows down and enjoy the moments *

What do you want to see, when you look back at your life? How are you living now, so that will be true?

Memories Of It All

The moments that make up a life,

like a mist that envelops for a short while.

Lens focuses.

Flash illuminates.

Frozen in time, with the snap of the camera’s shutter.

The faces, the places, that intertwine the days.

Memories.

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For they are like a breath of air; their days are like a passing shadow. Psalm 144:4  NLT

Our Eyes Are Opened

I sat down on the front porch step. The collie laid down next to me and put his head in my lap. The boxer was on my other side, calm and serene for this brief moment. The terrier was walking around the yard.

The sky was bright blue, the clouds puffy and white. The sun was warm on our backs, even though the breeze was cool. The trees were already starting to turn into burning reds and oranges.

The moment was peaceful.

The river of time, that normally feels like a torrent, slowed.  I looked at the scene before me and breathed in deeply.

When we slow down, enjoy the moments, life becomes more clear.

Our eyes are opened to all that gives life meaning.

He Goes Before Me

On my good days, when the world seems so right. On my difficult days when nothing seems to go right. On happy days that make my spirit soar, and on days when I am down and wishing moments could last just a little longer…God is here. 

He surrounds me. He lifts me up. He holds me close. 

The Lion of Judah, fights for me. The Lamb of God laid down Himself for me. The Ancient of Days, knows me. The King, sees me, His child. Whether I am happy or sad, feeling blessed or melancholy….. He loves me. 

And that, for me, is always enough. 

Life will never be easy. There will be ups and downs, accomplishments and disappointments, but through it all, is my security in Him. The One who never leaves me.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

 

 

 

Reminders From Him

This past week I received my two Christmas books in the mail, one Southern Living Christmas and the other Gooseberry Patch Christmas. Yes, they always come in June. They come six months early, so that those so inclined can begin working on their projects for the holidays without feeling rushed. Like that would happen with me. Ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I enjoy looking through the books with all their beautifully decorated pages. Everything looks so perfect. Perfectly decorated rooms, perfectly planned meals, perfectly wrapped gifts, crafts, and treats. Sigh. All this perfection……and, I feel so…..

Imperfect.

Inadequate.

Ordinary.

How many times do I feel that my good just isn’t good enough? That if I could only complete one more task, spruce up one more thing, make one more call, then everything would be okay, and my life might look like one of the 8×10 glossies in the books.

Oh, I need to lose weight, exercise more, have a house free of cat puke, and dog fur. I need a nicely mowed lawn, and I really should make more trips to the farmer’s market. I need to make time to read more books, spend less time on the computer, have meaningful conversations with my children, and have date nights with my husband.  I should try to style my hair in a cute new look, smile more, make my own cleaning products, keep track of the memories and learn how to relax.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could go on and on. That is the kind of thing that goes on inside my brain….all the time. I admit it, I often spend so much time thinking about what “should be”, that I often times miss out on the “here and now”.

 

I know better, but I keep doing it anyway.

I count the moments, because I require the reminders.

Reminders from Him.

God wants me to be present in this moment. The one that is happening right now.

Otherwise, I will miss out on everything He has planned for me.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

A Rich Life

Tomorrow I will turn 46.

The years, they have come and gone, but more than time has shaped me into who I am today.

Although I have never dwelt on my age, I sometimes find it hard to believe.

I guess most of us are like that? Remembering back and looking forward. Wondering when the years changed us.

A full life. A rich life…..

A good life, but not a perfect life.

My life.

The sun is streaming through the kitchen windows. This day is new and fresh and real.

My last day of 45.

An overflowing laundry hamper, an unmade bed. Flowers from Mother’s Day and cookies that my daughter baked. My son sleeping through the pain of having his wisdom teeth removed. Looking forward to my son’s graduation and family visiting. Sun streaming through the house…warmth that shows all the dust. My favorite hoodie and new tennis shoes. Needing to walk more and workout more. Struggling to get things right. A book full of Amish recipes and a brand new llama cria across the road. Birthday cards in the mail and dinner out with my husband. Sweet tea and good books. Blogging and reading glasses. Open fields and practicing songs for church choir. The end of the school year and looking forward to relaxing this summer. Mountain top experiences and trials through fire. Friends that will help me. Family that loves me.

Sure, there is sadness….but, there is also SO MUCH JOY.

Jesus loves me and with God nothing is impossible…and that is always enough, but He chooses to give me so much more.

This whole messed up, mixed up, and completely glorious life is a gift.

 

 

 

 

 

Moments In Life

There are moments in life when you just know….know that this brief flash in time will forever be etched in the memory.

Times that are bittersweet.

When you realize at that very moment that everything will change.

Wanting just a little while longer…

but knowing it isn’t to be.

There is no going back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Today I am thankful for:

* clouds that scud across the moon

* watching the dark storm clouds pile up on the horizon

* waiting for the rain

* wispy fog hugging the ground

* the cry of birds in the early morning

* watching my son graduate

* tears of joy

* going out to eat as a family

* singing with my husband

* bouquet of roses

* cards from my husband and children

* love

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.  I Chronicles 16:34

 

 

 

 

When Did The Days Become Years?

Twenty-four hours, never seems like enough.

Don’t we all feel the way the moments of sand slip through the hour glass of time?

When did the days become years?

And why wasn’t I truly awake to see them?

Oh, my eyes work, but often times I miss what is right in front of me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Capture the pictures with eyes wide open.

Heart moments.

The moments that really matter.

The ones that will be remembered for all the times to come.

 

“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand.” – Psalm 31:14-15, ESV

 

How Precious Time Is

Thumbing through my planner, I see the days laid out before me.

Ink is scattered across the pages with names and times. Full. Busy.

Life passing by, another page turned, another day comes to an end.

The days sometimes can seem so long, but the weeks, they fly.

Before I know it, time slips through my grasp and another year is gone.

I try and remember that fact when my day is hard.

How precious time is.

 

 

 

 

Appreciate It More

Monday, the beginning of a new week. Fresh white pages, ready to be written on.

Possibilities. Not knowing what might happen.

How often am I cavalier with the time given to me? I always expect that there will be more moments.

The only way to live in the time I have, is to appreciate it more.

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Today I am thankful for: 

*beautiful sunrises, pinks, purples, golden light

*morning stillness, the sound of silence

*sunshine streaming through the kitchen window

*a new phone, adding contacts

*the sweet taste of an orange

*cuddling with my husband, laughing together

*goofing with friends

*a clean house

*graduation meeting

*finishing classes

*a sense of accomplishment

*a warm bed

*barking dogs

*fresh eggs

*muddy front yards

*working with my students

*second chances, and third, and fourth