Faded Jeans And An Old Tee Shirt

He wore faded jeans and an old tee shirt.

He was wet from the spray of the water hose…

and he was doing the yucky job of cleaning out the chicken coop.

As much as I enjoy my chickens, they are dirty birds.

They eat, drink and poop….and a lot of it!

I am really the one that wanted chickens. I knew I’d have a lot of work cut out for me.

My husband chose to help me the other night. He didn’t have to, and I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had said, “you take care of them”.

Now, I’ve seen my husband at different times, in a tux, different suits with dress shirts and ties, freshly shaven, and hair neatly combed….

But, as he stood there this night, I told him, “I think that I love you more now, than I did even a few minutes ago!”  He smirked at me in a good-natured way.

This cleaning was a selfless act on his part.

It was a loving act.

I was grateful for his help.

My husband is a good guy, and I sure do appreciate him.

Even if he did need a shower …..

Luke 6:31
Do to others as you would have them do to you

You’ve Got Mail

Bonnie, over at Faith Barista says…. “It’s the month of classic June weddings. A reader who is single asked me how I met my husband. She said it always encourages her to hear the different ways God leads people to find true love.

In the spirit of encouragement, I’d love to hear from our community. Write on the topic: Finding “The One”. ”  

 
FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG

It happened on August 6, 2005.

I was totally and completely unprepared….

At the time I had been widowed for 4 and 1/2 years. (see my story here) I had a son getting ready to start 5th grade.

I had turned 37 in May.

Life was busy. Happy. Things were good.

Life was normal on that day, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to tell me of what lay ahead…

I sat down at my computer, to check my email. I saw a response from an online dating service I had signed up for. (which I had done on a whim) Before even signing up I had decided that I was not going to date anyone unless they lived within an hour of my house.  I mean, what was the sense, otherwise?

Then HE left me a message.

He lived in Texas, in a town outside of Dallas. He had one adult daughter whom he had adopted, and two children still at home. He was also widowed. (about his late wife)

He wanted to know me. This kind of made me feel like I was 17 all over again. “Wait, just a minute”, I thought, “I am 37. I am mature. I am a mom. I am not going to get excited about an email. So there.”  At least that is what I told myself.

I wasn’t so sure about this. After all this guy lived in TEXAS for cryin’ out loud…and I lived in Tennessee. The two “T” states, but other than that, not close enough. I waited to reply.  I thought about it.  I finally decided that we could at least be friends. We could both relate to widowhood, (there was a mutual understanding between us, in a way that is difficult to explain unless one has been through the death of a spouse) , had children around the same age, and we were both Christians.

So……

We became long distance friends. We emailed every day. Hundreds of miles apart, but close in heart. After several weeks of daily email and phone calls,he asked if he could travel to Tennessee for us to meet? Kids included. He drove hundreds of miles with a son, a daughter and a dog. They arrived at my house on a Friday afternoon in late September. This sounds hokey, but we felt as if we’d known each other for years.

After a whirlwind weekend of visiting at my home, attending my son’s soccer game, going out to eat,  meeting the family, and even some nervous reservations about how, or if, this would work, we decided that this relationship was worth pursuing.

So we did.

Five months later we were married. It was a life changing decision, but one that we are both glad we made. We will be celebrating our sixth anniversary this year. We tease that it feels like we’ve been married for fifty! We have no doubts that God led us to each other…even if our meeting and short engagement was a bit unconventional. We were both in our 30’s when we were widowed, living hundreds of miles apart, didn’t even know the other existed…until that fateful day in August. We both knew what we wanted in life, who we were interested in sharing that  life with, and that God was and is the One in control.

I love my husband and he loves me. Life has its ups and downs. We are parenting in a blended family. We’ve sold his house in Texas, and my house in Tennessee. We’ve built a house in rural Ohio. We’ve moved from Texas to Tennessee, and Tennessee to Ohio. My husband lost his job of twenty-two years right in the middle of building the house in Ohio. I resigned from my teaching job. We home school our three teens. My husband has a new job, working from home. We have three dogs, four cats, and a horse. Life is crazy and unpredictable.

But, I can’t think of a better place to be than with Scott……after all God brought us together, and HE is the ultimate match maker.


In The Still Of The Evening…

Front porch

Image via Wikipedia

Last night I was sitting on the front porch with my husband. Like many married couples, we were talking about everything and nothing in particular. I for one, was thankful that the sun was getting ready to slip under the horizon, making it much cooler than it had been earlier in the day. It was quiet in our little piece of the world, except for the sound of the birds chirping in the fields and an occasional vehicle driving down our country road.   I pondered the fact that life is much different for me now. I never thought that I’d be sitting on the front porch of a home in the country.

As a high school student, I couldn’t wait to go away to college and “recreate” myself. As a college graduate I couldn’t wait to start my new career and have my own place. As a teacher I couldn’t wait to meet my new students and make a positive difference.  As a new wife I couldn’t wait to spend time with my husband, creating our life together. As a young wife, I couldn’t wait until we bought our own house for our family to make memories in. As a new mom, I couldn’t wait to hold my son, love him, and be thrilled with each new step.

As a new widow, I couldn’t wait for the sadness to end, and life to return to some sort of normal. As a single parent, I couldn’t wait to cheer at soccer games, plan birthday parties and go on vacations out West. As a thirty-something, I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to meet someone who would want to share life with me. As a newly remarried woman, I couldn’t wait to figure out how this blended family would work.

Always waiting….

So much of life is spent waiting, isn’t it? Your waiting might be, and probably is, different than my waiting. Life requires waiting.

Waiting for something new. Something different. Something better. Something comfortable. Something real. Something exciting.

Always waiting….

Waiting can bring new life, if I am patient. It has in the past…and it will again in the future.

This season of life has me both waiting and wondering. What will be next?

It is both scary and beautiful, all at the same time. On days when I am weary from worry, grieving from growing, pondering over patience, and just plain wondering, I remind myself that I am not the one in control. I never have been, and that is okay.

Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31  NIV

 

 

 

 

 

Letting Go Of Expectations

Great Expectations (1999 film)

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever read something and realized it was YOU the writer was talking about? Okay, well maybe not really you, but it may as well have been. The words hit so close to home that you look over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching you, as you read…

I’ve finished One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I’m reading it again. It’s that good. On pages 168-169, Ann discusses “expectations”. During book club it was discussed that expectations are premeditated resentments.

Ouch.

How many times have I let my expectations, ruin the moment? How many times have I expected something, only to see that others can’t meet that bar? How many times have I expected perfection in the moment, only to be sorely disappointed? I struggle with the way I think things “should be”. When things don’t turn out the way I had hoped, I am left frazzled, irritated, and resentful.

Resentment. I know it well. I wish I didn’t.

That insidious word, feeling, has stolen my joy on numerous occasions.

It builds up inside of me, until it blinds me to all else. I can no longer see the joy of the moment because resentment has me standing in darkness.

I bite the words as they come out of my mouth. Hard and bitter.

I need to let the expectations go.

Do I want to enjoy the moment that God gave me, or do I want to “be right”?

“Expectations, kill relationships”, Ann surmises. I tend to agree.

I’m a work in progress.

Joy is in the moment.

I’m learning to “let go” so I can enjoy the moments God has given me. The lessons are not simple, nor easy.

All of life is learning.

It’s hard to stay resentful… if I’m giving thanks. The two don’t mix well. I will continue with eucharisteo.

Amen.

We are discussing “letting go” this week at A Holy Experience. If you would like to read more, click on my Walk With Him Wednesdays graphic on my right side bar.

Love And Marriage

Typical game contents and scoring example.

Image via Wikipedia

Our love intertwined in the moments of the every day……

“Are you coming to sit with me?”

I will in just a minute.

“Do you want to play Boggle?”

Okay…but, you almost always win.

“No, I don’t.”

Yes, you do.

“Okay, so I do.”

“Thank you for making lunch.”

You’re welcome.

“Do you want to ride into town with me? I need to get something at Lowe’s.”

Sure, can we get a coffee while we’re out?

“I drink coffee. You drink creamer and mocha with a splash of coffee for flavor.”

Do not.

“Do too.”

I like mocha.

HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH ME….ME.

OUT OF ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD, HE WANTS TO HANG  WITH ME.

How cool is that?

 

Walk With Him Wednesdays—Click On The Picture On My Sidebar

 

 

 

 

 

The Time Of My Life

Hour Glass

Image by andrusdevelopment via Flickr

Time is a blessing.

On most days, we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. We scurry around trying to get all the things checked off on our to do lists. We make appointments, try to squeeze in a few hours of sleep, and work, while we watch the clock. Time doesn’t always feel like a blessing. Sometimes time feels like a curse, especially when we feel we don’t have enough of it.We are hardly ever satisfied with time.

The other day I was pondering, time. I was thinking about how time has affected me. Changed me. How my whole life is different–and time has played a role in that. On rough, hard days time mercifully brought night and sleep…knowing “this too shall pass”.  On other days time brought a beautiful sunrise and the excitement of a new day. There are moments in time that are etched forever in my memory. For good and bad. But time has never stopped.

In 1986, I graduated from high school. I smiled as I walked across the stage to accept my scholarship. I knew that my time in high school was well spent.

In 1990 I graduated from college. I knew my degree would allow me to spend time doing what I loved…teaching.

In 1992 I married in the heat of July in the South. In tons of taffeta and lace. And I wondered to myself, why did I pick this time of year?

In 1994 I found out I was pregnant. Time had a whole new meaning to me…as I waited.

In 1998 when my son was three, I wanted time to slow down. Three years old. It was a great year. I wanted to remember everything. Absolutely everything.

In 1999 my husband was diagnosed with a terminal heart disease. Each moment became important. We began to realize that he would not live to old age. And time seemed cruel.

In 2000, when the emergency doctors and nurses yelled, “Code Blue” time stood still. I felt as if I was caught in a slow motion machine. Unable to move as the medical personnel swarmed my husband.

After the funeral, evenings became long…not sure how to fill my time. A new kind of normal.

Five years of widowhood. I realized time doesn’t stop for anyone…and my son and I were going to be okay. Time was therapeutic.

December 2005 . Remarriage. Vows.  A new life. Time seemed promising.

Teenagers in the house…not many years left with them before they move on to their own independence. Time seems to be moving at warp speed.

My husband and I in our 40’s. Within the next decade, facing the “empty nest”. Time has possibilities.

And here I sit. On January 13, 2011. A new year is just beginning. I have no idea what it will hold for me. It’s kind of exciting, and a little scary.

Because time stops for no one.

 

 

 

We Are Family!

Kendal

Image via Wikipedia

Over Christmas break I decided to try my hand at figuring out my family tree. I’m using Ancestry.com. It’s really very interesting. So far I’m back to the 1600’s through my paternal grandmother‘s side of the family. I’m finding family from Ireland, England, and Germany so far. It gets a little tricky finding parents of ladies that married into the family.

Things I’ve learned along the way…

1. A lot of young ladies got married at the age of 20.Some younger. Some older. Twenty is the average.

2. As I dig back in time I realize that having 9-13 children was normal. I know this was a common occurrence, but it tires me just thinking about it. If that were me, I’d be the type that would say something like this, ” John, Jacob, Michael, Peter, Robert…… For cryin’ out loud, YOU. Yeah, the one with the blond hair! Thomas. I knew that. Really. Yes I did!!! As long as YOU know who YOU are, I’m okay with it.” Seriously. That would be me.

3. My family had beautiful names… Catherine Eliza (1767), Christina Katrina (1763), Sarah Ann (1827). Also names that showed the times…Mary, Emma, Orpha Maria, Annie, Sophia, Matilda, and Gertrude. You know what’s funny? Several of these “old” names are back in style again. How many Emma’s or Sophia’s do you know? Oh, and one (several greats) grandmother from Germany. Her name was Waldburga Geiger Von Wurttemberg (1705). Try and say that name 5 times, fast. I dare you.

4. Many of the men had Biblical names. James, John, Joseph, Samuel, Philip, Thomas, Benjamin, Daniel, Michael and David. There are also some interesting ones such a Cyrus, Andrew Jackson, Purnell, Raymond, and Johann (es).

5. Most of my mom’s side of the family settled in Pennsylvania after making their way to the “colonies”. Most of my dad’s side of the family settled in North Carolina.

6. I had one of  “those moments”, while sitting researching. If even one of these long line of people had not been born, I would not be sitting here and typing this blog entry right now.

7. Some of my (many great) grandfathers had first wives that died young. The men went on to remarry. I’m thankful for that. Some of my (many great) grandmothers were second wives. Really, if you think about it, they were young women, marrying men somewhat older than they were. In some cases the men already had children with their deceased wives. So the new brides married into already established families–and then added more children. Quite a handful.

8. This is really fun.

9. After I go as far as I can in the family tree—I’m going to start researching places. The one (many greats) grandmother was born in Kendal (or Kendale?) Ireland. I also want to look up Wurttemburg and Mecklenburg, Germany.

10. It makes me wonder about my own legacy. What will my future family learn about me? What history will I leave behind?

I’m thankful for family…

To Love and To Cherish

Bride and groom, California

Image via Wikipedia

My family and I attended a church social yesterday evening. We were there to celebrate the marriage of an older couple in our church. They had just celebrated their 68th anniversary. That is practically unheard of in this day and time. They were  married in 1942.

1. I’ve learned things from observing  this couple.

2. A man of true strength doesn’t have to be loud, or hardened.

3. He fought in WWII, witnessed the death of his buddies…

4. Yet, this is the same man, who now in his late 80’s, lovingly helps his wife to get out of her wheelchair and into the car.

5. Over the past few years his wife has lived with severe arthritis in her back, and has hearing loss.

6. That didn’t matter last night.

7. He smiled at her and leaned over to tell her what people were saying.

8. I learned that she had a yellow Camero that she loved to drive in days gone by.

9. And she enjoyed laughing and being silly with her friends.

10. I learned when he was a boy, his family owned horses and buggies.

11. Until… his dad was one of the first in town to buy a car.

12. I told him, ” you and your wife have seen a lot of changes in society, during your marriage.”

13. He agreed.

14. I also said, ” It is one thing to read history in a book, it’s quite another to hear it from someone who was actually there.”

15. He laughed. “Yep.”

16. “to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part…”

17. Today’s society rarely gets a glimpse at a couple, like the one I saw last night.

18. It is almost unheard of.

19. I was honored

20. To see love, up close.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO RAYMOND AND VIVIAN

Men…And Other Scary Animals

A couple in the dark

Image by Carlo Nicora via Flickr

I like men. I actually love some of them. I think that a lot of time men get “bad raps” in the media. Not fair. They have a lot of good qualities that oft times get overlooked. On this note, I am dedicating today’s blog to my loving husband and sons, and all the other men out there that make the world a more crazy…eh hem….delightful place. I would also like to state for the record that this blog is MY opinion, and on MY blog that is the only one that counts. If you are a male basher don’t read this blog—because I am all about flowers and sunshine:)

1. Men like to fix things. This is very helpful to me when I have no clue as to what I am doing. “Honey, the thing- a- ma- bobber just fell off the what-cha-ma-call-it….do you think you can fix that for me? Sure. ( I love him!)

2. Unless the food is completely toxic and inedible men will give it a try…and sometimes ask for seconds. I love that they are not so picky.

3. Men are usually good with calculations. Math is not really my forte’. Well, upper level math is not my forte’ is what I should say. I also appreciate my husband’s precision when measuring for whatever it is that he is building for me.

4. Men are great foot warmers in bed. Most of the time they don’t complain, even if one’s feet are cold, most of the time they are just glad that you are snuggling with them.

5. Most men work really hard in their chosen career. (or even if it’s not their chosen career) They want to provide for their family. It makes them feel good–which in turn makes the family feel good:) Which makes them feel good. Which makes us feel good. See the circle of love?

6. Most men are really about 12 years old mentally. Some people see this as an obstacle that needs to be overcome. I see it as well…..let’s just say that burping contests, lawn mower races and wrestling each other to the floor is dangerous after a certain age, and leave it at that.

7. Men can look totally cute in the morning…even right after getting up. The messy hair and unshaven face just add to the mystique.

8. Men like to have female friends. Why do you think that so many men get married? ‘Cause they love us, girls. They really do. They realize how cool we actually are and they like to hang with us. This shows they obviously have good taste, right?

9. They are brave and courageous. Even if they are scared out of their wits they, most of the time, will be the one to get up and “see” what the scary noise is out in the living room. They also crawl under houses to fix things…braving snakes, possums, mice, or other vermin. They are supermen!

10. They are fun to have around and they make us laugh. They help to make the world a little more goofy, and less tense of a place.

11. They are not rattled when they take a wrong turn. “We’ll just drive around until we see something familiar.”

12. There is nothing better than a hug. Even if he is stinky, and sweaty and in need of a shower. ( I wonder if he will use that new lavender shampoo I just bought?)