Shoppers Beware

Does it mean a person is mentally unbalanced if they laugh at themselves, or at their own jokes? Um…..because, I admit…..sometimes I crack myself up. Doesn’t it feel good to laugh? Really laughing…like when you get tears in the corners of your eyes or you laugh so hard you snort. Not that I do that. That would be uncouth and not very lady like. So of course, I was talking about someone else. I was!  Work with me people, after all I am the one telling the story here.

English: A pair of high heeled shoe with 12cm ...

My daughter and I had to run to Tractor Supply and Walmart today, two of our most common places to shop. That says a lot about us, doesn’t it? Living out in the sticks, I rarely get to see the Mall or “chain” stores anymore. I cry a little inside when I get fliers in the mail from Target and realize I have absolutely no clue as to where the nearest Target even is, much less how to get there. I’ve been having cravings for a Chili’s restaurant lately, and once again….not a Chili’s to be found. Sigh. Alas, I have digressed from my original story. I apologize. My husband tells me that I tend to do that. A lot. What can I say? I like to give details when speaking….or writing….or speaking while writing. Anyway……….

After getting back from this latest shopping adventure, I feel like our country is in crisis. I’m not talking politics, because that is an whole different story and I’m not going down that road today. I’m talking fashion sense. Or is it common sense? Now, I know that there are videos out there on the internet entitled “People of Walmart“. Those videos scare me to be honest. This week I witnessed a shopping scene that, well, it was just wrong…on so many levels. People. People. People. Get some clothes on. Really. Please.

I will be the first to tell you. I like to dress for comfort. Jeans, a tee shirt, a pair of flip flops….my usual summer attire. If you saw me at Walmart, you probably wouldn’t really notice me because for the most part I look fairly normal. ( I realize that is a subjective statement, but for the sake of my story let’s go with it.)

What (Not) To Wear When Going To Walmart

1. Wear comfortable clothes. Do not wear vampy, black  boots with six inch stiletto heels while shopping for produce. If you back up into me and step on me, I might end up with a deep puncture wound on my flip flop covered foot. I could possibly need emergency treatment. Plus, the boots do not work with the sweat pants you are also wearing.

2. Gray haired grandmothers with their young grandchildren in the cart, should not be wearing halter tops. I don’t care how young you feel inside, time has already caught up with your outside….and it is no longer feasible for you to wear a halter. Unless you are Raquel Welch, keep everything covered. I think this rule is in the grandmother’s handbook. Check it out.

3. Young men, do not wear your pajama bottoms to the store. I know that this particular piece of wardrobe seems to have become “appropriate” shopping apparel. Believe me when I say, it is not. You do not look as hot as you think you do….and I am not interested in seeing your backside hanging out. Have some dignity. It cannot take that much effort to pull on a pair of jeans if you are going to be seen in public.

4. Men, while I am on the subject. Open tank tops are a no-no. You know the kind I mean. The ones with the big armholes that allow one to see everything the man’s got. The tank looks more like a cotton drape then a real shirt. This is an especially important piece of advice if you are standing next to a person trying to shop for some meat.  As you lean over to check out what to put on the grill for dinner, you are exposing your hairy (and probably sweaty) armpit to the person (namely,me!) standing next to you. Now, I know men have armpits…and I know they are hairy….but, I don’t want to look at it while I’m checking out a package of  hamburger. It’s making you feel kind of gross while you’re reading this, isn’t it?  Now you can feel my pain.

5. Please do not wear your bathing suit into the store. They make coverups for this sort of thing. I understand that you are heading to the lake, and you need some chips and soda before you head out. I get it. Do us all a favor and pull on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts….and make sure the shorts are more than a denim pair of underwear. Walmart shoppers can only take so much sexiness at one time.

If you ever find yourself in one of the Walmart “no-no’s” make sure you are also wearing a ball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses, so you can’t be recognized…..because people are watching.

Things That Make You Go Hmm….

It’s another rainy and gray Tuesday. It seems as if this is the way the entire Spring will be. On that note I’ve decided to go through my pictures, and pull out the ones that make me giggle, amuse me, or are just plain silly. It always feels good to laugh, doesn’t it?

So, I walked in the bedroom yesterday and this is what I saw.  I told my husband that we now have “his and hers” foot warmers.

The other day I looked out my kitchen window…and this is what I saw.  I guess Fed Ex and UPS have to meet on back country roads to talk to each other. They just want us to THINK that they are bitter, package delivering, rivals. Now the truth is out!

Joe is our senior dog. In dog years he is like, eighty-five. He has arthritis and takes glucosamine & chondroitin daily. He still knows how to be silly and have a good time.


This picture of  me, always makes me laugh. I call this my Nanook  of the North picture. We were in the process of building our house, it was the dead of winter, and I wore that hat everywhere. No kidding. I looked like a citizen of Siberia, Russia. The shades were because of snow glare, not because I was trying to be “Hollywood“. Just sayin’.

This is a neighbor of ours. He was out for his morning jog.

For The Love Of Laughter

you laughed so hard you cried?

Image via Wikipedia

“A cheerful heart has a continuous feast.”  Proverbs 15:15

When is the last time you laughed out loud, tears streaming down your face?  Laughed so hard you snorted? Got the hiccups? Your stomach ached from the muscles you used for a good belly laugh?

Laughter feels good.

Nikki, the family calico cat, has a special fondness towards me. Some might call it stalking. She follows me around the house like my shadow. She makes me a little paranoid when she follows me into the bathroom…and sits and stares at me. Eh, hem….I can do this myself, kitty cat. This morning I was making the bed when she came flying out from underneath it. I didn’t know she was there so I nearly had a heart attack. She made me laugh out loud because she was covered with dust bunnies. Okay, I admit to all my blog readers that cleaning under the bed is not at the top of my list. Not this week. Um… okay. Not ever. Nikki looked hilarious with a big  ol’ dust bunny right on top of her head, between her ears. She did not appear too humiliated by the whole thing.

I laughed so hard this evening! My son’s dog, Lonnie is a terrier mix. He can stand and walk around on his hind legs. Lonnie loved the smell of the pot roast that I was serving for dinner. Boy, did he want some! He walked around on his hind legs trying to get at the plate. He was so focused on the plate that he backed right up  into the garbage bag I had setting on the floor, ready to go out. The expression on his face was priceless.

This is the same dog that I blogged about last week that would not eat his yummy, dog food, nutritional bits. Go figure.

Tonight, while preparing dinner, I was singing and goofing around in the kitchen. My son said, “Mom, you are very ‘bubbly’ today. I like it when you are in a good mood. It makes the whole day better.”  His words struck me. How often do I forget, in my day to day busyness, to smile and laugh, and joke?

My son reminded me  that

Laughter is the best medicine and….

It makes the whole day better.