We Need To Get Over Ourselves

I read something recently that left me feeling uneasy. The article contained some controversial material, but what really bothered me was the way Christians were fighting with each other. It grieved my heart. There is a world watching us, and when we fight amongst ourselves, tear each other down, what does that tell the greater population? Now, I’m not saying believers should ever water down the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not saying to compromise core values and beliefs. What I am saying is that, as Christ followers, in many circumstances we need to get over ourselves. We are not, nor have we ever been, perfect. Sinners…..each of us, deserving of Hell.

I am a sinner…saved only by the unmerited grace of a living and loving God. I never deserved Christ’s forgiveness and I sure couldn’t earn it. In fact scripture reminds me that, “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” Isaiah 64:6  NIV   In other words, none of us are perfect and even when we try to do “the right thing”, we can never meet the standards of a Holy and Just God. That is the whole reason Christ came to this broken, sin cursed world. He came to save us. We needed Him to stand in the gap between us and God. When God looks at me, He no longer sees Dawn covered in her sin, but He instead looks at me in the shadow of His perfect and righteous Son. Jesus has me covered.

Instead of arguing and condemning, maybe we need not be so scared to extend grace to others. The more we, as individuals, realize how lost we were before Christ found us, the more likely we will be to give a hand to others who are desperately in need of Him.

 

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He First Forgave Me

A post from my archives that I needed to read again…and again. Maybe, you too?

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The Beauty Of Forgiveness

11 Jan

He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness! She did a terrible thing to me. Why should I forgive her? He hurt my feelings. She said horrible things.IMG_0247

 

Most of us in this life have had things happen to us that we feel we really don’t deserve. People have treated us poorly.  They didn’t do what they should.  They shouldn’t have done what they did.

 

I’ve heard myself say the words, “I will never forgive her for that”. She hurt me. She doesn’t “deserve” my forgiveness. I hate her.

 

With those words, the bitterness started to grow, like a vine around my heart. It was slowly choking out the ability to forgive. It was always there with me…like poison that I kept drinking–even though it hurt me.

 

The truth is that the “unforgiven” rarely suffer like the ones holding onto the bitterness. The one who demands payment for whatever sin was committed against them, suffers much more.

 

I can’t tell you the exact moment that, that changed for me. The moment I forgave her for the awful things she said about me. Things that weren’t true. My forgiveness wasn’t showy. As a matter of fact, she never even asked me for my forgiveness. She never begged me to forgive her. It was never like that. I don’t know that she even remembers what she said to begin with…….but, I did. So, I was the one to make the move. To forgive her. In my heart.

 

You know, when you forgive someone it is does not always mean that you “forget” what happened. Our minds don’t work that way. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting, forgiveness is about “letting it go” and moving on. Bitterness only hurts the one harboring it.

 

You might be thinking to yourself, “Dawn, does not get it. My hurt is too great. The offense too horrible. I cannot forgive. Ever.”

 

And you would be wrong. I do get it. I know. Believe me, I know. And you can forgive. It is a choice. Not easy, but  definitely not impossible.

 

Like I said, forgiveness is not about giving something to the other person. (unless he/she asks) Forgiveness is about YOU being able to rid yourself of bitterness.

 

Most of you know me (especially those of you that have been reading my blog for a long time). If you were to meet me you’d see that I am a wife and mom. Teenagers can drive me nutty.  I look sort of average. I like wearing tennis shoes. I shop at Walmart. I enjoy reading. I have a soft spot for dogs. I love my family. If I don’t get enough sleep I’m a bear. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes my sense of humor shines. Above all else I am a Christian.

 

The reason that I am able to forgive is NOT because I am special…because I am not. I am no different than you.  The reason that I am able to forgive is because, you see, I am one of the forgiven. When Christ took my place and hung on that cross, He cried out, “Father, forgive them!” Christ knew that one day I would exist. That my heart would be dark with the feelings that it harbored. That even if I tried to be good, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me. And yet, He forgave me. He didn’t have to. I surely didn’t deserve it. I didn’t even appreciate it.

 

But, I am grateful for a loving, compassionate, just, and holy God. God tells me in Psalms 103:12,

 

New International Version (©1984)
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

 

Because God first forgave me, I am now able to show forgiveness to others.

 

 

Laid Bare

The Gypsy Mama

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

Won’t you give me your best five minutes for the prompt:

Bare….

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The first thought that came to my mind is bare naked. Hey, it’s 8:30 in the morning and my mind isn’t quite “with it” yet. I think since I’ve only got 5 minutes to type….I might just go with that.

Bare naked. That makes me think of Adam and Eve in the garden. They were perfectly content living there. They were obviously not clothed…..until after their sin and then they realized, “Hey, we need to cover this up!” Isn’t that true still? I don’t mean the part about us walking around naked, because  don’t know about you, but

I am well past that stage. The 40’s haven’t been as kind to this body as I had hoped. Sigh.

Anyway, I digress. Isn’t it true that when we sin we still try to cover it up? It’s our nature. It’s who we are. Sinners.

All of it, the good, the bad, and the ugly is laid bare before the eyes of God. He sees it.

But, I’m so grateful that I asked for forgiveness and He has forgiven me.

What was once dirty and broken is now beautiful through the cleansing blood of Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Adam and Eve by Rembrandt

He Makes All Things New

reaching out to you

“Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.” –Sixteenth century poet

What beautiful words. And aren’t we all a work in progress?

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I thank God, when I come to the end of my road…it’s not really the end of me.

Jesus is new beginnings.

I thank God He didn’t allow my poor choices of the past…to define my future.

God is sovereign.

I thank God that my mistakes are only part of me… they are not ALL of me.

God is all knowing.

I thank God that His forgiveness, although undeserved, is abundant.

Jesus is love.

I thank God that He is holy and just… yet full of mercy.

God is compassionate.

I thank God that when I chose to turn away from Him… He never turned His back on me.

Jesus is patient.

I thank God that during my times of anger or indifference… He stood firm.

God is the Rock.

I thank God for second chances…and third chances…and fourth chances…

Jesus is the One that makes all things new.

I thank God, when I understood it was Him that I needed…

He is the One that said, “Come to me“.

I thank God that He is worthy of all my praise…

God is the One that hears me when I pray.

I thank God that He can and does make beauty where none existed. That He brings back to life, that which was dead.

God is a miracle worker.

“For nothing is impossible with God.”  Luke 1:37 NIV

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What are you thankful for?

Are You Freed By Forgiveness?

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Today at A Holy Experience, we continue to discuss forgiveness…..not an easy subject for me. I considered just skipping this post today, but changed my mind. There might be someone out there that needs to hear what I have to say.

As one who loves to write and who has made it a life long habit to put my thoughts into words, I would like to share this excerpt from one of my many journals.

These words echo back to me, from a journal that I kept for an entire year after my first husband died. A decade ago, but I remember writing this as if it were yesterday. The last page of the journal, and it frees me as much today as it did back then.

” November 21, 2001

…… I choose this day to forgive you for lying to me.

I forgive you for hurting me. You were wrong in doing that.

There was no excuse for your behavior, but it is in the past and I am going on.

I choose to learn from the past.

I choose to put my future totally in the Lord’s hands.

I choose not to be bitter and hardened by my experiences.

I will live my life and be content….

I forgive you even now.”

Forgiving is freeing.

It is liberating.

And it is necessary.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  Matthew 18:21-22 NIV

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Are you freed by forgiveness?

I Still Have A Lot To Learn

Cross-shaped window inside church in Hicksvill...

Image via Wikipedia

Today, at A Holy Experience, we are spending our second Wednesday talking about forgiveness. To be honest, I have sat at my computer for quite a while this morning, struggling with what to write. I wanted to write something deep and comforting. Something helpful and yet profound. Frankly, it all fell flat.This is not the day for that.

I struggle with forgiving others. I understand about forgiveness. I understand that unforgiveness can cause resentment and bitterness. I get it. I do.

And yet…..

the hurt feelings

the betrayal

the lies

the pain

the harsh words

the moments lost

the feelings forgotten

The human part of me wants for the offender to hurt…as much as he/she hurt me. It is an ugly feeling. One for which I am not proud. It makes me feel less, to even admit it. Would it make me feel better? Would it? Would it be settled in my mind if I felt like the offender had their fair share of hurt?

No, probably not.

And the truth is I am no better. I’m sure in my lifetime I have said a lot and done plenty that has left other people raw and wounded. My words have the ability to cut deeper than any knife.

And I am ashamed.

My eyes skimmed across this scripture…and I didn’t feel quite so alone. We humans have a lot to learn, much to be reminded of…

7Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame—the people of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to you. 8 We and our kings, our princes and our ancestors are covered with shame, LORD, because we have sinned against you. 9 The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him; 10 we have not obeyed the LORD our God or kept the laws he gave us through his servants the prophets. 11 All Israel has transgressed your law and turned away, refusing to obey you.  Daniel chapter 9  NIV

God is merciful and forgiving…

He who had never sinned, humbled himself to walk among sinners.

His love was so great…

His forgiveness so immense…

And I need to be more like Him.

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How do you forgive?

We All Have Storms In Our Lives

We all have storms in our lives.

Sometimes they come, due to our own making

Other times, only because we live in a broken and fallen world…

As darkness envelops…

Jealousy. Anger. Bitterness. Arrogance. Pride.

An unforgiving heart.

The storm pounds on my soul.

Wanting only my own way…

As the storm grows… a heart hardens.

The rain pours…

But….in the midst of the storm….if I look up….an unobstructed view.

Much like the prodigal son of scripture, lost in my own life…my own problems…

I realize my need.

I run back to the Father. “Father, forgive me!”

After I’ve ventured out on my own and made a mess of things,

I return to the One who forgives. The One whose voice alone, can calm any storm.

18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.    “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Luke 15:18-20 NIV

There is calm after the storm.

There is beauty in forgiveness.

For the forgiven,

as well as for the one that chooses to forgive.

Fragile colors as the anger of the storm subsides.

Quiet. Peaceful…

Awe.

Are you in the middle of a storm, right now?

Are you the forgiven?

Or do you need to be the one who forgives?

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How do you practice forgiveness?

My Father’s Day Gift

Forgiveness & Rememberance

Image by alex drennan via Flickr

Today at Faith Barista we are talking about Father’s Day.

Bonnie told us to write on the topic

however we chose, just keep it real.

So that is what I am doing….
FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG

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Some of us had difficult relationships with our fathers

When we weren’t “daddy’s little girl

When words were said

and feelings hurt.

And although he was there,

he wasn’t. Not really.

For times he chose others over my sister and me.

Maybe we just didn’t understand each other.

And yet…

I am thankful for the years he provided for his family

and gave routine and predictability to the day.

I do have good memories too.

I wish there had been more.

I wish he had chosen to live.

To see me… and my sister.

To see his grandchildren.

To know and understand that

Fatherhood is important.

I could choose to burden myself with the “Why?” questions

but, the answers would echo cold

in the void, left behind.

Instead, I have chosen forgiveness

As much for me as for him.

To forgive him,

even now, years gone

is my Father’s Day gift

to him

and to myself.

R.I.P

Dad.

Letting Go Of Expectations

Great Expectations (1999 film)

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever read something and realized it was YOU the writer was talking about? Okay, well maybe not really you, but it may as well have been. The words hit so close to home that you look over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching you, as you read…

I’ve finished One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I’m reading it again. It’s that good. On pages 168-169, Ann discusses “expectations”. During book club it was discussed that expectations are premeditated resentments.

Ouch.

How many times have I let my expectations, ruin the moment? How many times have I expected something, only to see that others can’t meet that bar? How many times have I expected perfection in the moment, only to be sorely disappointed? I struggle with the way I think things “should be”. When things don’t turn out the way I had hoped, I am left frazzled, irritated, and resentful.

Resentment. I know it well. I wish I didn’t.

That insidious word, feeling, has stolen my joy on numerous occasions.

It builds up inside of me, until it blinds me to all else. I can no longer see the joy of the moment because resentment has me standing in darkness.

I bite the words as they come out of my mouth. Hard and bitter.

I need to let the expectations go.

Do I want to enjoy the moment that God gave me, or do I want to “be right”?

“Expectations, kill relationships”, Ann surmises. I tend to agree.

I’m a work in progress.

Joy is in the moment.

I’m learning to “let go” so I can enjoy the moments God has given me. The lessons are not simple, nor easy.

All of life is learning.

It’s hard to stay resentful… if I’m giving thanks. The two don’t mix well. I will continue with eucharisteo.

Amen.

We are discussing “letting go” this week at A Holy Experience. If you would like to read more, click on my Walk With Him Wednesdays graphic on my right side bar.

I Forgive You

Moon

Image by neko687 via Flickr

Today’s blog topic at the Faith Barista Jam is forgiveness.

Ouch.

I don’t know about this.

Forgiveness is difficult. Especially, when it is I that have been wronged.

Especially, when I didn’t deserve what I got.

I was left hurt. Bruised. Confused. Broken.

How does one forgive through the pain?

Even when the wrong doer doesn’t care about the pain he/she caused….

The sleepless nights…..

The actions that played in my head like a never ending movie reel…

I was a prisoner in my own unforgiveness.

It wasn’t pleasant. I didn’t enjoy it. But, I couldn’t let it go.

I didn’t know how.

Until……

God showed me.

It didn’t happen all at once.

It was work.

I still work at it.

I’ve learned that forgiveness is a gift.

Not just to the forgiven….but, to the one forgiving.

A gift of peace.

How can I not forgive others, when Christ has so richly forgiven me?

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

(Colossians 3:13)