My Heart Aches

English: Crying boy

I was going to write a post about something else today…something that doesn’t really seem as important right now.

I was working with one of my students when I got the news about the school shooting in Connecticut. The news numbed me. I had flashbacks of my days in the classroom when we prepared (as much as one can) for incidents such as this. Lock down drills were unnerving and those drills were just for “practice”. I cannot fathom the fear of all those involved.

My heart aches for these families that lost young children. Tears spring to this mom’s eyes. My heart aches for the families of the teaching staff at that school–those teachers that aren’t coming home today. My heart aches for all those involved and the terrible memories that will be felt now, because of today’s events, every year right before Christmas break.

This world is broken. It can sometimes be a place where bad things, awful things, scary things, terribly sad things, happen to otherwise good people. It is a place where disturbed young men can take the lives of young children. These children,  today, saw the face of evil.

My heart hurts. A tragedy…and how can one ever be prepared for something such as this?
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

I have no more words.






Heart Healing

Genähte Wunde am Rücken, vier Stiche. (sewed w...

Today ladies are writing about A heart healing moment, at Faith Barista.

Words cut deep, and leave a gaping wound. Over time the wound heals…leaving behind an invisible scar. Along the way, more words and the wound is opened again. It is ugly and it hurts. The pain oozes out and runs down through the years. Words can change people, for better or for worse.

I still remember the words.

I was ten years old, and spending the day at a classmate’s house. She was one of my best friends in elementary school. We were playing hide and seek in her family’s two story farm house. I was hiding in the sitting area, next to the piano. It was a good place, and I could hear my friend looking for me. Unfortunately, I also heard her teenage brother come into the kitchen and announce, “You should be able to find her, she’s big enough that she can’t hide behind anything.” Tears sprang to my eyes, a sob caught in my throat….but, I didn’t make a sound. I stayed there. Hidden. Not knowing what to do. Not wanting to be seen. My friend eventually found me. I never told her what I had over heard. I kept it inside.

And haven’t we all been there? Whether it is a weight issue, or skin issue, or your chest is flat, and your nose is big….maybe your ears stick out, or you stuttered as a kid. Maybe you had a difficult time learning to read and you thought you were stupid. Or maybe your pain was never seen, at the hands of a drunk, or  putdowns from a parent who didn’t know how to show love. As adults, the words can sting and cut just as deep. Words can be harsh, and the scars left behind can crisscross a soul.

Years later I looked back at pictures of that time in my life, and the truth is, I wasn’t big. I was the size of an average fifth grader. Her brother was tall and super skinny, with frizzy hair and his face was broke out. He probably was dealing with issues of his own. I can look back and see that event for what it actually was, but it still hurt. I carried the scars of that with me for a very long time. Those thoughtless words obviously had a profound effect on me, if I’m still able to recall them after thirty-three years.

It was May of that same year, and I was getting ready to turn eleven. It was then that I gave my life to Christ. Even at that young age, I knew I needed Him. I knew I could trust Him. I understood grace and salvation, as much as a ten year old is able to comprehend. I understood that Jesus loves me, was not just a song, but the truth. I got it, that I could trust my heart with Him. I knew that He would never hurt me.

This passage from the Bible has had a deep and long lasting effect on me.

13 For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well. Psalm 139  NIV

These words make my heart sing.

I was WONDERFULLY made. God told me so…..and I can take Him at His word.


Say What?

A leader teach is able to help this student wi...

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Last evening I was looking through some of my blog archives. I came across one that made me laugh out loud. Such a window into my life.

Oh, the memories! Being an elementary school teacher in the South… Teaching was fun and the day to day escapades were good fodder for my blog.

Ya gotta love it!

Click on over for a good laugh:)

Just On This Side Of Crazy…

An American bathroom of a freshly renovated ho...

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I KNOW WHY CERTAIN SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. I totally get it. It is so much easier that way.

I am the mother of three teenagers. Yes, three. Two boys. One girl.


I am the mother of kids who can totally mess up the hall bathroom is no time flat. DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THE NASTY, WHATEVER-IT-IS, GROWING IN THE SINK?  What is with that? What IS that? The other two bathrooms don’t look that way. Only theirs. It’s scary. Really scary. What if it is some sort of mutant bacteria that will overtake the house one night while we sleep? The teens would be immuned to it….but, it would get my husband and me. While we slept.

Or what is the deal with food? If they stand at the refrigerator and leave the door open while they peer inside….what will they find? Hmmm……who wants jalepeno slices straight out of the jar?  (YUCK) Or who drinks enough tea or milk to float for a year? I have learned that if I want any tea in this house I better make it and then get the first glass—otherwise I won’t see it again…until it is time to make the next pitcher. Why can’t we keep snacks in this house? Stuff disappears quickly around here. I think they have super metabolisms….. And I want to know WHY that is the case with only young people??? I WANT a super metabolism. It’s only fair.

Having teens is not all about fighting for tea, slimy things that go bump in the night or selective hearing… is also fun. They do make me laugh—because essentially they are at that age when they understand life more, but are still young enough to laugh about it. Yes, there is frustration, but there is also a lot of love and goofiness. I’ll miss them when they are gone. It will be so quiet….and clean…. food in the frig….all the tea I can drink…..Oh, I digress. I was saying I’d miss them. Really, I will. I will.

In the meantime…..I think I need a Haz-mat suit for the bathroom clean up.