Just On This Side Of Crazy…

An American bathroom of a freshly renovated ho...

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I KNOW WHY CERTAIN SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. I totally get it. It is so much easier that way.

I am the mother of three teenagers. Yes, three. Two boys. One girl.

I am the mother of  a kid who stares at me like I have two heads when I tell him to “TURN OFF YOUR ALARM CLOCK! IT”S BEEN GOING OFF FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES—-CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT???!!! I’M SURE THEY CAN HEAR IT IN CHINA, BUT YOU CAN’T HEAR IT WHEN IT IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR EAR???”

I am the mother of kids who can totally mess up the hall bathroom is no time flat. DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THE NASTY, WHATEVER-IT-IS, GROWING IN THE SINK?  What is with that? What IS that? The other two bathrooms don’t look that way. Only theirs. It’s scary. Really scary. What if it is some sort of mutant bacteria that will overtake the house one night while we sleep? The teens would be immuned to it….but, it would get my husband and me. While we slept.

Or what is the deal with food? If they stand at the refrigerator and leave the door open while they peer inside….what will they find? Hmmm……who wants jalepeno slices straight out of the jar?  (YUCK) Or who drinks enough tea or milk to float for a year? I have learned that if I want any tea in this house I better make it and then get the first glass—otherwise I won’t see it again…until it is time to make the next pitcher. Why can’t we keep snacks in this house? Stuff disappears quickly around here. I think they have super metabolisms….. And I want to know WHY that is the case with only young people??? I WANT a super metabolism. It’s only fair.

Having teens is not all about fighting for tea, slimy things that go bump in the night or selective hearing…..it is also fun. They do make me laugh—because essentially they are at that age when they understand life more, but are still young enough to laugh about it. Yes, there is frustration, but there is also a lot of love and goofiness. I’ll miss them when they are gone. It will be so quiet….and clean…. food in the frig….all the tea I can drink…..Oh, I digress. I was saying I’d miss them. Really, I will. I will.

In the meantime…..I think I need a Haz-mat suit for the bathroom clean up.