Is That A Gray Hair?!

leg warmers photo from flickr by iluvrhinestones

Does anyone else wonder where the time went? I always heard that time seems to go faster, the older one gets. That is the honest truth.  Some days I feel older than others. Yep. I wake up and stumble to the bathroom mirror and think, “Wow. When did this happen?”

My daughter enjoys that I can get all the 80’s references in the show that we watch together. The best music is still from the 80’s or earlier, in my humble opinion. I miss leg warmers and Jordache jeans. (although I saw a commercial yesterday for Walmart that Jordache jeans are making a comeback. I had a pair circa 1985.)

I was always the one that said I would age gracefully, ala Katherine Hepburn style. Lately, I’ve just felt the burn…without the Hep. Sigh. I know. I know. I have several readers that are older (read that as mature)….and would love to be 44 again. Okay, so that might be true, but I’m still seeing gray hairs and feeling achy joints. I’m sojourning on, but aging can be the pits. Just sayin’.

On the positive side, as I’ve aged I think I have a better perspective about things. I at least try. Experience brings

wisdom…well, at least with most things. The important stuff, truly is the important stuff, and I realize it. I’m trying to slow down. I want to enjoy the moments that God has blessed me with.

Life.

I’m always learning, and taking it one day at a time.

(P.S) I secretly wish I could still fit into my Jordache jeans from 1985. A girl can dream.

Shoppers Beware

Does it mean a person is mentally unbalanced if they laugh at themselves, or at their own jokes? Um…..because, I admit…..sometimes I crack myself up. Doesn’t it feel good to laugh? Really laughing…like when you get tears in the corners of your eyes or you laugh so hard you snort. Not that I do that. That would be uncouth and not very lady like. So of course, I was talking about someone else. I was!  Work with me people, after all I am the one telling the story here.

English: A pair of high heeled shoe with 12cm ...

My daughter and I had to run to Tractor Supply and Walmart today, two of our most common places to shop. That says a lot about us, doesn’t it? Living out in the sticks, I rarely get to see the Mall or “chain” stores anymore. I cry a little inside when I get fliers in the mail from Target and realize I have absolutely no clue as to where the nearest Target even is, much less how to get there. I’ve been having cravings for a Chili’s restaurant lately, and once again….not a Chili’s to be found. Sigh. Alas, I have digressed from my original story. I apologize. My husband tells me that I tend to do that. A lot. What can I say? I like to give details when speaking….or writing….or speaking while writing. Anyway……….

After getting back from this latest shopping adventure, I feel like our country is in crisis. I’m not talking politics, because that is an whole different story and I’m not going down that road today. I’m talking fashion sense. Or is it common sense? Now, I know that there are videos out there on the internet entitled “People of Walmart“. Those videos scare me to be honest. This week I witnessed a shopping scene that, well, it was just wrong…on so many levels. People. People. People. Get some clothes on. Really. Please.

I will be the first to tell you. I like to dress for comfort. Jeans, a tee shirt, a pair of flip flops….my usual summer attire. If you saw me at Walmart, you probably wouldn’t really notice me because for the most part I look fairly normal. ( I realize that is a subjective statement, but for the sake of my story let’s go with it.)

What (Not) To Wear When Going To Walmart

1. Wear comfortable clothes. Do not wear vampy, black  boots with six inch stiletto heels while shopping for produce. If you back up into me and step on me, I might end up with a deep puncture wound on my flip flop covered foot. I could possibly need emergency treatment. Plus, the boots do not work with the sweat pants you are also wearing.

2. Gray haired grandmothers with their young grandchildren in the cart, should not be wearing halter tops. I don’t care how young you feel inside, time has already caught up with your outside….and it is no longer feasible for you to wear a halter. Unless you are Raquel Welch, keep everything covered. I think this rule is in the grandmother’s handbook. Check it out.

3. Young men, do not wear your pajama bottoms to the store. I know that this particular piece of wardrobe seems to have become “appropriate” shopping apparel. Believe me when I say, it is not. You do not look as hot as you think you do….and I am not interested in seeing your backside hanging out. Have some dignity. It cannot take that much effort to pull on a pair of jeans if you are going to be seen in public.

4. Men, while I am on the subject. Open tank tops are a no-no. You know the kind I mean. The ones with the big armholes that allow one to see everything the man’s got. The tank looks more like a cotton drape then a real shirt. This is an especially important piece of advice if you are standing next to a person trying to shop for some meat.  As you lean over to check out what to put on the grill for dinner, you are exposing your hairy (and probably sweaty) armpit to the person (namely,me!) standing next to you. Now, I know men have armpits…and I know they are hairy….but, I don’t want to look at it while I’m checking out a package of  hamburger. It’s making you feel kind of gross while you’re reading this, isn’t it?  Now you can feel my pain.

5. Please do not wear your bathing suit into the store. They make coverups for this sort of thing. I understand that you are heading to the lake, and you need some chips and soda before you head out. I get it. Do us all a favor and pull on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts….and make sure the shorts are more than a denim pair of underwear. Walmart shoppers can only take so much sexiness at one time.

If you ever find yourself in one of the Walmart “no-no’s” make sure you are also wearing a ball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses, so you can’t be recognized…..because people are watching.

Everyone Has One…

Many dry cleaners place cleaned clothes inside...

Image via Wikipedia

Everyone has one. A story, that is.

I’ve mentioned before that I enjoy a good story. Most people I encounter believe they don’t have anything interesting to say. That’s just not true. Don’t argue with me about this. I’m right.

“Mom, I need to get a part time job. So does Betsy. We’re thinking we could work together.”

With that said, my friend, Betsy and I got a job, after school at a local laundry/dry cleaners. Our boss was named Bucky. Yes, you read that correctly. Betsy and I were assigned to the business shirts. We were 16 and 17, respectively. We still babysat on the side, but we were now working women. We had jobs. We treated stains on men’s business shirts! The prestige of it all. Those thoughts lasted all of about 2 seconds. Then reality set in. Stinky, stained reality.

A laundry/dry cleaners is not a glamorous place behind the scenes. Just sayin’. In case you thought it was or anything. I felt the need to set you straight. On a positive note, if you want to lose weight, work at a dry cleaners. With all the steam and pressing going on, it get’s hot in the back, like a sauna. Of course, all the weight loss is from sweating out all your bodily fluids. No kidding.

Betsy and I worked for about 3 hours each afternoon of the school week.  By the end of our 3 hours we were a little “loopy” from the solution used to get the stains out of the shirts. Even though the place was ventilated, I’m sure we lost some brain cells during our 6 month stint there. I remember thinking a few choice words to the business men that sent their shirts in to be cleaned with ink stains on them. Stop putting leaky pens in your shirt pockets!!! Don’t you know how stubborn those stains are?!

The first thing we were told on the job was to put anything we found in shirt pockets in a little bag that would be returned to the gentlemen when they picked up their shirts. You know, pens, receipts, packs of gum, money…the usual pocket stuff.

One day, I was working, minding my own business, when I came across a business shirt that was different. The front pocket was full…..of stuff. Let me just say this. I was embarrassed. My face was turning pink. Um….this was not a pen and some gum. I will leave it to your imagination. Let’s just say that it would put Victoria’s Secret to shame.

I had to ask my boss what to do? Do I put the hotel receipt and um…stuff in a little white bag and return it? Boss said, “No. Definitely not.”  To which I, in all my young innocence said, ” But, his wife might want this back.”  Boss said, ” maybe it’s not his wife’s.”  Then it hit me what he was saying. Oh, good grief!

For cryin’ out loud! Who needed Days Of Our Lives, when I had the “privilege” of working at the laundry? Seriously. Who knew?

Flash Freeze

Hat & Mittens

Today’s high is supposed to be 22 degrees. Last night the wind chill temp. was at 0 to -8. That is a bit nippy. Unless one is used to living in Siberia…than maybe not so much. Still. Cold.

1. The snow looks pretty on the ground.

2. Snow doesn’t feel so pretty when it gets in one’s boots.

3. The wind is blowing.

4. Blowing hard.

5. There is no chance of having a hairstyle in this wind.

6. If I go anywhere I usually look like cousin It, by the time I get to where I’m going.

7. Cousin It was not known for his beauty.

8. I need to dig out my scarf collection.

9. Maybe I can start a new trend.

10. Wearing all the scarves I own AT ONCE.

11. I’m all about being toasty.

12. Maybe a little weird, but a warm weird.

13. I hear that this winter is to have extremely low temps.

14. So much to look forward too!

15. I actually like winter.

16. When I don’t have to be outside.

17. It’s all in one’s perspective.

18. Right?

19. Time for some hot coffee.

20. How come in the movies ,or on commercials, the girls always look so cute in their hats, scarves and mittens?

22. They never look windblown or disheveled.

23. Or have a red nose, or chapped hands.

24. So not fair.

25. Now where did I stash my scarves?

I Need New Socks

Rainbow striped toe socks worn with thong sandals

Image via Wikipedia

For those of you that are new readers, you aren’t aware that I have an addiction to socks. You might think that is an odd addiction. True. I never said my addictions were run of the mill.

1. It’s getting cold in Ohio.

2. I like this fact.

3. October is my absolutely favorite month.

4. I’m putting my flip flops away for the season.

5. I got into my sock drawer this morning.

6. I’ve noticed I’ve worn out a lot of my socks.

7. I need new ones.

8. Lots and lots of new ones.

9. Not plain white ones either….I like white, but I prefer a rainbow of colors.

10. And patterns.

11. I’m nuts. I know.

12. I aspire to be a sock fashionista–with warm tootsies.

And by the way…they don’t have to match my outfits. I’m cutting edge that way.

Fall Fashion

Those Pink Boots

Image by dirac3000 via Flickr

I am a lover of sweaters. Oh, and I love cozy socks too. Um…and scarves. Can’t get enough. A theme going on here? A reason that I adore the cooler temperatures? I suppose so…it would look a little weird if I was wearing a thick sweater, warm and colorful socks and a long fringed scarf. In July. Just sayin’. Not that I haven’t done weird things before. Because I have. Maybe I shouldn’t divulge that. Forget what I just said.

1. All the online catalogs have their Fall clothes now.

2. I like looking at them.

3. I like changing the sweater colors on the models.

4. Interactive catalogs are fun that way.

5. It’s kind of like a new version of Barbie dolls.

6. I digress.

7. I am now wanting a new cardigan.

8. Except I want to look like the model wearing it in the catalog.

9. The less fluffy version of me.

10. The one that is perfectly coiffed.

11. The one with no stains on her shirt.

12. The one who looks like she slept well.

13. The one who has on make up.

14. Sigh.

15. I also want a pair of boots.

16. I have my eye on a hot pink pair that I saw at Tractor Supply.

17. Hey, they have some good stuff there.

18. My husband said he would deny knowing me if I bought those.

19. And wore them.

20. Hmmppfff. He has no fashion sense.

21. I’m getting them.

22. And I’ll wear them everywhere.

23. They will eventually grow on him. Or not.

24. After all hot pink mud boots are happy boots.

25. And who wouldn’t love that?

Things Begin To Fall Apart

Aging with Dignity Logo

Image via Wikipedia

I would like to know where it says in the book of aging, what falls apart…and when. I don’t like to be blindsided by these things.

For someone who has been fairly healthy her whole life, never spent a day in the hospital aside from giving birth, things have kind of been going south since I turned 40, a mere 2 years ago.

My latest “issue” is a pulled muscle in my back. I have no earthly idea how I managed this. I really don’t. And yet here I am, in pain. Unable to use my left arm and shoulder. This stinks. Do you know  how hard it is to pull a shirt or dress over one’s head when said person can not lift an arm? I had to swallow my pride and have my husband help me get out of my church dress yesterday. I got it half way off and realized I was stuck. Wriggling out of the dress caused shooting pains in my back. So, here I was standing in our walk in closet, bent over with a dress hanging off my shoulders and head. Where is the dignity in this? I gave up and said, ” Um….sweetheart….could you come here? I need help.” Bless  my husband’s heart. He didn’t laugh. (Which I know he probably would have liked to do) His only question was, “Is there a zipper or buttons on this dress?” My muffled reply was, “NO. Just pull it over my head!” The whole time I’m thinking to myself, “Who was the dumb bunny that decided on this dress this morning, knowing that I couldn’t lift my arm very well?” Duh. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

Today I am taking it easy…and making sure to wear something with buttons.

Spring Is Supposedly Just Around The Corner

http://anfepic.co.nr/

Image via Wikipedia

Spring is supposed to just be around the corner. I’ll believe it when I see it.  It’s true the past couple of days have been sunny….and some of our snow has finally melted but, now our driveway resembles something one would see in the swamp land of Louisiana. The other day I was in mud up to my armpits. Okay, so fine. That was a lie. BUT it is very muddy! I refuse to wear my nice (still brand new) tennis shoes I received from my mom as a Christmas present. I don’t want them to be muddy and cruddy the second I have to walk to the van in our driveway. I guess I will finally wear my Christmas present sometime in early May. In the meantime I’m wearing boots. Rugged boots. Boots that can survive the mud.

Speaking of boots and mud. A few days ago my husband and I were moving our (borrowed) refrigerator out of our kitchen and down our walkway to the trailer. The trailer that we were using to haul the refrigerator back to its original home. We got a new refrigerator to put in its place. So anyway, the husband and I were moving this refrigerator. If you’ve ever moved a refrigerator, you know it is awkward and bulky and well just plain hard. We got it through the laundry room door and down the steps. Then we had to maneuver it down the walking stone path to the driveway. Did I mention it is muddy here? The dolly wheels were sinking fast. I’m pulling, my husband is pushing. I kept having glimpses of ultimate refrigerator peril. My boot got stuck in the mud. As the refrigerator is bearing down on me….I went to move my foot and the boot stayed put….in the mud. Aggghhh!  So, now I am hopping around on one foot, trying to keep the refrigerator on track. (thinking what a sad thought my untimely “crushed under a heavy appliance” death would cause my family.)  My husband can’t really see me because he is on the other side of the refrigerator, trying to hold it steady. Such is the scenario. I manage to get my foot back in the boot without too much of a problem and yank it out of the mud with a big “gooosh” sound. Remember, I said to think of back country Louisiana swamp land.

After this fiasco we did manage to get the hulking monstrosity onto the trailer….but only after hubby is pushing up the incline ramp and I’m pulling and almost fell over backward off the side of the trailer. That would have been so pretty.