Like Sand Through The Hourglass…

 

 

Like sand through the hourglass….so are the days of my life. (Hmmmm, I think I may have heard that phrase somewhere)

I turned forty-eight yesterday. Getting older hasn’t really bothered me, per se. I mean, what’s the alternative, right? I’m not upset about being just two years away from FIFTY, but I do find it rather shocking. The other day, some classmates from high school were talking about having a thirtieth reunion this Fall, for the class of 1986. In my mind, the eighties were last week. Does that prove I’m aging?!

 

Is my life perfect? No. Whose is? We all live in a world that is full of great joys, and intense tragedies, highs and lows, ups and downs. One can’t get away from that. The truth is, each different season of life is special and unique in its own way. I really would not want to go back in time. (Well, a good friend of mine posted a picture of the two of us when we were twenty-one. Although I like the wisdom that comes with age, I wouldn’t mind still having the bod of a twenty-one year old….) In the midst of the every day, I find myself stopping and appreciating. There is a lot to be said for being in the moment, and going through one’s life with eyes wide open. Out here in rural Ohio, I often find myself driving down back country roads to get to my various destinations. I admire the green, green, grass, the bright blue sky,  the open space, the black and white cows that are trying to nibble on the other side of the fence, and the hawk circling high over a field. I think about my family that loves me and whom I love right back, a husband who makes me laugh, kids who are now young adults, the comfortable house I live in with land to roam, and my (fairly decent) health.

It has been about five or six years ago since I first read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts. (you can read my posts here and here) Her book spoke to me about what it means to be truly thankful for all the ways that God blesses. I will admit, it is a struggle some days to see the blessings when all I want to do is be a grump. When the cat pukes and I have to clean it for the umpteenth time, or the flowerbeds are overgrown with weeds, and the dog digs up my last surviving bush. The days when my children grow up and become more and more independent and I realize my opinion isn’t as important as it used to be. Broken dishes, broken promises, and broken hearts. Some days I force myself to stop, breathe, and start counting out loud, all the ways I am thankful, and all the ways I am loved. God is so good. Even on the hard days.

One day it truly dawned on me (pun intended), that I most likely, have more days behind me, than I do ahead of me. It is highly unlikely that I will live to be one hundred. You want to know something? I’m okay with that. That might sound weird, especially in a society that is so driven by youth and beauty. My days are just as important to me now, maybe even more so, than when I was in my twenties. I know I appreciate them more. I don’t pretend to have all the answers to life’s questions, and on many days I am struggling to understand just like everyone else.

Today I am able to say that life is good and I am happy.

 

 

I AM

The word am is the first person singular of be.                                                                          A name for Him, whose love set me free.

This morning in church, singing to the great I AM                                                                    The Alpha and Omega and The Risen Lamb.

The One who was, and is, and is to come.                                                                                  Great Holy Father who calls Heaven home.

For always and forever more, across time and space…                                                              A story of redemption and His amazing grace.

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Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?”God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM“; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.'” Exodus 3:13-14

Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I am.” John 8:58

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ( unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. John 3:16 (Amplified)

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Good Day

Saturday….

A day to relax, rejuvenate, and rest………

Today is a good day, for a good day!

Psalm 62:1-2 “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”

People Of The Cross

 

 

 

 

 

The picture was difficult to look at, twenty-one orange clad men kneeling before their executioners. Egyptian Christians. Their executioners called them “the people of the cross”.  In those moments before death, I wonder what was going through their minds? They realized this was it….their entire lives came down to these last moments. Their deaths were imminent. Did they cry? Did they scream? Did they plead for their lives?

Or did they kneel silently, knowing the truth?

The truth that although their bodies would be killed, their spirits could not. The moment they ceased to breathe in this life, they would take their first breath in their new life. With Jesus, the One who died first, willingly….for them. For us. Before we even knew who He was. He loved us, though the world knew Him not.

There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him.… John 1:9-11 

The people of the cross……they know Him.

They worship Him. He, alone, is worthy.

They are martyred for the privilege of following the One true God and His Son, Jesus the Christ.

 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;  and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”  John 11:25-26 

As fellow “followers of the cross”, we know this temporary life is not all there is…..and it is all temporary whether an infant takes one breath in this world, or an individual lives to be one hundred years old….in the scope of eternity it is all short. We are in this world, but not of this world. We are on a journey, during the years we have here, and we each need to learn to travel light.

God included in His word, a history, a reminder, found in the book of Hebrews. None of this, that we see today on the news, is really new. We, believers, come from a long line of the faithful. Every time I read chapter eleven in Hebrews I am filled with awe and reverence.

….All these people <Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses…> were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.  Hebrews 11:13-16

…..And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised,since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. Hebrews 11:32-40 

Christ followers. Christians. People of the Way. Believers.

PEOPLE OF THE CROSS.

 

 

Life Becomes Just A Little Bit Sweeter

I feel the cold immediately. As soon as I open the door the frigid air fills the opening between cozy warmth and bitter winter winds. The only part of me that is actually showing is my eyes, and that is necessary only to see where I am going. The scarf, wrapped snuggly around my neck and over my mouth and nose, keeps my face warm and keeps my breath from freezing. A lined hat pulled down over ears, a thick coat and insulated gloves. This is my winter wardrobe. I am used to putting on and pulling off the layers several times a day. That is how it is when one has dogs to walk and animals to feed and things to do.

Winter sky, a brilliant blue, full of white, cottony clouds, stacked on top of each other and full of snow. I snap a picture with my eyes, and file it away in my memory. Snow blowing across the back fields, each flake chasing the next, racing to see which can whirl away first. I am mesmerized by the fierce beauty that winter holds. The wind whips hard against me, leaving me gasping. Facing directly into the wind and snow is not for the faint of heart….challenging Winter usually leaves one huddled and chattering.

The fence corner posts, grayed by the weather, stand strong in the slamming wind, not to be broken or bent. They look lonely on the edges of the field, standing guard over the property. I love to look out over the back field, all the way to where the ground meets the horizon. It is one of the most peaceful views, throughout all the seasons. Another picture for my memory.  I notice a little brown field mouse scurry by and dive into some straw near the chicken coop….he wedges himself into a little hole. I wish him well in his endeavor to find a warm haven.

I am thankful.

Thankful for my layered clothes. Thankful for my cozy house. Thankful for this beautiful season of cold, for without it I could never fully appreciate warmth.  Thankful for the ability to stop and be grateful in the moment, to see the beauty in all things. I am acutely aware that, that is a gift.

With that knowledge life becomes just a little bit sweeter, even when standing in the bitter winter winds.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David. The heavens are telling of the glory of God; And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, And night to night reveals knowledge.… Psalm 19:1-2 

On Cruise Control

It is already Wednesday evening. The week is half over, and I’m not even sure if I ever got fully started. Can you relate?  I’m sure you know what I mean. Sometimes I go on “cruise control”, do what needs to be done, all part of the regular routines of life. I try to stop and really see the moments, but all too often I walk around with blinders on, completely focused on the urgent. Every day happenings can become emergencies in no time, at least it feels that way.

As one of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, mentioned in her book, One Thousand Gifts, life is not an emergency…and we shouldn’t live it like it is. I agree with her completely, and yet, here I sit on a Wednesday night. Depleted. Worn out. Just plain tired.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10: 38-42

I need to be more like Mary, sitting at Jesus’ feet. Resting.  I am rereading what Jesus said to Martha. I’m letting it sink in. His words to her are just as relevant today as they were when He first spoke them.

He Has Me Covered

I tend to be a very visual person, so I find myself always looking at things around me, I notice even the most minute details…..and I think on those things. That is just how I am. The views always capture my attention, allowing me calmness and contemplation in an otherwise hectic life. With that said, this past week I was on my way back from the barn, crossing through newly fallen snow. Even though it was bitterly cold, and the wind stung my face, I took a moment and gazed over the back pasture, where the fence touches the horizon. The gray winter sky buried itself in the snow making it difficult to discern which was which. Yesterday evening, I was walking the dogs after dinner, the village water tower was silhouetted against the burning pinks and purples of a frigid January sunset. The night, here, is filled with a million stars, they are a cold and crisp sparkle on a quiet ebony night. Although I try to describe the views, I feel I can’t do it justice. This area allows me to see God’s hand in everything. I spend many of my moments enjoying His creativity.

The thought crossed my mind this week, that I never could have imagined all of this. My life, like most, has had many twists and turns. There were times when figurative doors slammed shut on what I thought was the next chapter in my story. If someone had told me ten years ago, where I would be, what I would be doing, I would have never guessed I’d be living in rural Ohio, in the middle of what was at one time a farm field. I had no idea of the man I would meet and marry, after five years of widowhood. I could not have known the friends I’d make, the lives that would intersect with mine. I am reminded that God is the Author and Finisher of my story. He alone knows the future, be it by one minute or decades, or for all eternity. My life is literally in His hands.

I know that God loves me. I know that His plans are perfect. I know that He always has my best interest at heart, and I am His beloved. I am able to relax, and know that He has me covered…..and I can rest in that knowledge.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4 

Join us over at Beloved Brews! The writing prompt for today is: share what inspired you about God this week or share a story/insight/experience as God’s beloved.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Life can sometimes be overwhelming, can’t it? There are always things that seem to pop up when they are the least expected, and the least wanted. Why can’t things ever be easy? Why don’t more things go right? The car quit working and to get it fixed is going to cost, I’ve stalled out on my weight loss, sometimes I just want to eat gluten even though it makes me very ill, some people have given me the cold shoulder, it hurts and confuses, I have friends that are going through difficult circumstances and my heart breaks, dogs and cats that poop and puke and make a mess for the umpteenth time, my muck boots have a tear in them (yuck), and my work schedule has been thrown off. I’m just plain old, tired.

After going through my laundry list of all the wrongs in my world, I am reminded of something one of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, wrote in her book, One Thousand Gifts. She talked about how often we see the holes in this fabric of life. Our eyes so often concentrate on the empty…..we neglect to see the full. (my paraphrase) I will admit, I am so guilty of this. I know better….I know what it is to be thankful, and yet I allow myself to fall into the “if only” mentality. If only I did this or that, if only I had this or that then everything would work out and life would be great.

The Great Deceiver whispers in a quiet voice, a voice that chokes and smothers. One that taunts me about all there is to not be thankful for. All the things that are not good. All the ways that Christ lets me down. Fear creeps in through the cracks, and he smirks. Fear. Fear of all the what if’s, the if only’s, the pain, the misunderstandings, the exhaustion, the Father of Lies doesn’t retreat….he presses in harder. He wants to break me. That is what he is all about. He wants to come to kill and destroy, but I know The Truth. Christ has come that I might have life and have it to the full.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV

Will this life ever be perfect? No. We live in a broken, sin cursed world. Oh, but sweet friends, there is still so very much to be thankful for. Right in this moment, with the very breath that fills our lungs with life giving oxygen. Breathe in. He loves us. Breathe out. He cares. Breathe in. He lives. Breathe out. Forever.  Amen.

Christmas Had Come Full Circle

Sometimes death whispers down fluorescent lit hallways that smell like antiseptic and medicine. At other times it arrives unexpectedly, ripping through a young life that held such promise. Some hear a diagnosis and walk hand and hand together with death, for years that follow, or sometimes it is the quietly closing of eyes that never open again. I hate death. I hate everything about it. I hate the acts of dying, whether it lasts a second or lingers for longer. It is hard and unfair…..and it hurts. It hurts not just the one that is dying, but to all those who love that individual. Death comes, when it chooses. None of us know when that moment might be. It could be today, or next month, or 50 years from now. We try not to think about it. No one wants to live in the shadow of the cold. The gray. The unknown.

I’ve faced the loss that death incurs, in my own life…on more than one occasion. My husband and I facilitate a GriefShare class, to help others that are on this journey. We have met people who have lost parents, children, spouses and siblings. I’ve looked into the faces of these individuals and cried with them. Like I said, I hate death.

Over two thousand years ago, a baby was born into humble surroundings. His newborn cries were mingled with the sounds of animals in the stable. His parents knew who He was, but probably did not, could not, fully comprehend what His birth meant. This tiny infant that Mary had delivered, was born to die. God in human flesh, came from the glories of heaven, to this broken world. He walked this earth, before He walked to the cross. He brought the dead back to life with just the sound of His voice, but chose to give Himself up for us all and stay on that cross until it was finished.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas had come full circle. The wonder of Jesus birth is forever intertwined with the sacrifice of His death and glory of His resurrection.

Death…. none of us will escape it, but because of Christ, we don’t have to fear it.

…Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”… John 11: 24-26

…Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection… Romans 6:3-5 

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

 

The Clock Marks Time

It has been awhile since I’ve had time to write a blog post. Life seems to be so busy for me lately! I’m sure that most of you, my readers, can relate? The pendulum, on the dining room clock, swings to the beat of the seconds, minutes, and hours. I watch it from my perch on the kitchen stool. I take one of those moments to contemplate.

The making of moments happens as the clock marks time. Marks milestones. Marks life….but, my heart marks the moments.

I am more aware of the passage of time, as I age. No longer cavalier, in my attempts, to make the moments last just a bit longer.

One child, now young man, out on his own. The other son, came home from college for Thanksgiving. He has a new life at school apart from us.  A daughter who is working on finishing up her senior year of high school. Another daughter raising her children and making her way. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

My husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary this month. He and I were talking about that fact last night. Time, where does it go? And so quickly? Both of us were widowed young, and started over again, with each other….nine years ago.

This past weekend I decorated the Christmas tree. I unwrapped the delicate ornaments from the box. The dates on the ornaments brought me back to another time, years ago. Sweet memories, tucked away in my heart.

I’m working on embracing the time I have. Right now… this day.

So thankful for:

a scarf and coat, clean, cold water, protein shakes, gray winter sky, safety on the road, a husband that I love to hang out with, a fuzzy puppy, all my dogs and cats, and chickens and horses, the view from the back of the barn, the warmth and comfort from a favorite sweater, children that are growing up and making their own lives, friends that I can be myself with, Christmas tree with white lights, Advent candles, hot chocolate and fresh popcorn, a vehicle that is dependable, the smell of pumpkin spice, and peppermint. Things both big and small…..