Life gets busy and I fall into bed at night, exhausted.
My to do list is long and my need to rest is even longer.
There are days when I go from one thing to the next,
forgetting to live in the moments that are now.
Stop. Slow down. Look around.
I whisper, “Thank you, God, for these moments.”
I don’t want to miss them. Not now. Not ever.
Being thankful is a gift in itself, and there is always so much to be thankful for.
I often get asked, why in the world did you move here? The people who ask, are alluding to the fact I moved from Knoxville, Tennessee. Knoxville is a city nestled in a valley surrounded by the foothills of The Great Smoky Mountains. It is a place that many Ohioans go on vacation. Yet, here I am. My family and I moved to a rural area of Ohio, outside a tiny village whose population doesn’t even make it to “town” status. It is not unusual to see Amish families on the roads in their buggies.I admit, it is not a happening place. I miss restaurants, and all the shopping. I could be to most places in five minutes. With that said, when I lived in the city I didn’t wake to the sound of geese flying overhead, or the rooster crowing. I didn’t have the opportunity to witness open sky and wide, uncrowded spaces. These places to breathe and think and not feel so rushed. In the city, buildings crowded out my view of the sun rising, and city lights detracted from the brilliance of the night sky. My house was on a large double lot in the city, but there is no comparison to the twelve acres in the country. There is room for the family and dogs, cats, chickens, and horse.
When I am going about my business of feeding animals and other chores, I often stop and soak it all in. I am a country girl at heart. This life I’m living, bring me so much joy. If you had asked me a half dozen years ago, where I’d be, or what I’d be doing, I could have never imagined this. A new marriage and family, in a new house in a new state, in the country. It might never have been……but, I’m so glad it is!
What would I do in this life, if money were no object? Here is my list in no specific order.
If money were no object, what would YOU do?
Today’s challenge finds me describing what is outside my kitchen window.
It is a chilly damp day, here in Ohio. We are currently in that “in between” time. Winter is pretty much over, but Spring has not yet shown up. We are in the gray time of the year. The grass is brown and dull, the sky is the color of slate, with a few breaks, where blue sky and sunshine leaks through. My gravel driveway has multiple mud puddles, that the dogs always seem to find. Across the road, and past my mailbox, I see some of the llamas grazing in the wet field. The trees, still barren and leafless, stretch their limbs into the sky, seemingly to scratch at the gray that surrounds them. They wait impatiently for new life. Beyond the grouping of trees, I see our farmer neighbor’s wetland lake. A low spot in his field has become home to wild ducks, geese, and frogs. I enjoy the orchestrated sounds of nature that I am able to hear each day.
What is outside your kitchen window?
The other night I was walking back to the house from the barn. I do some of my best thinking while doing my chores. To be honest, I don’t really consider feeding the animals, and the trek to the barn a chore. It is my labor of love. There is something to be said for working out life’s problems while working. There has been many an evening when the horse calmly listens to me as I tell her of my attempts to solve the world’s problems by bedtime. 
I am happy and content with my life in the country. I like having land, I love all my animals, and the peace of living in quiet spaces and wide open places. It never gets old for me. I am grateful to have this opportunity. This chance I’ve been given, to live on this piece of land in rural Ohio, makes me genuinely happy.
My life has taken unexpected twists and turns over the years. I never in a million years would have thought I’d end up here. In this spot. In this state. At this time.
But, I’m so glad things worked out this way.
This is something I wrote back in 2012. I was thinking about this very story, the other day. How many times do I long for God to reveal Himself to me? Do you? If so, maybe this post is exactly what you need to read today.
Let Me See You!
And God…
Aren’t you here, right now? And can’t I see You, as You move in the every day? Are You not still the powerful Elohim? I look at Genesis and am still in awe of it….right from the beginning.
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1 NIV
You created… out of nothing. No one else can do that. No one, but You. How mighty are the works of Your hands!
You are God, that created all things and called them good. You are the same God that creates all good things in my life.
On days when my eyes only see the gray of You, the dim image, only the shadowed essence of Your glory…
Father, place me in the cleft of the rock and open my eyes to You!
This life is difficult, full of pain, and all the not-good-enoughs.
Life on many days is ripped wide open. Gaping.
Let me see You!
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On some days my prayer is just like this one that I wrote.
Simple.
To the point.
“Let me see You!”
My prayer comes from the book of Exodus, chapter 33. Moses and God are having a conversation…and Moses tells God he wants to see His glory. God tells him okay, but He didn’t allow Moses to see His face, “for no one may see Me and live.” So God put Moses in the cleft (a crevice or crack) in the side of the mountain and covered Moses with His hand while He passed by. Moses was only allowed to see God’s back as He went by.
Moses was gutsy, wasn’t he? That was a big request… and yet, God said “yes” to his request.
This is one of my favorite stories of the Bible and, quite frankly, it is not one of the more common Bible stories… the ones that most people know. I like to think about Moses. He is told by God that He will lead the people of Israel. It is a big job. Moses goes back and forth with God about whether or not people will know that God is with them. He reminds God that, “this nation is Your people.” God agrees and says that His presence will be with them. Which leads up to Moses’ question about seeing God…and God telling Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”
Can you imagine how Moses must have felt? In awe? Honored? Excited? Nervous? Terrified? No one can see God’s face and live. His glory is too much for an individual to fully comprehend. I, of course, wasn’t there and don’t know for sure, but my theory is that seeing God face to face would be so intense that a mere human body could not physically survive it.
His glory.
Who He is.
Overwhelming.
And still, are you like me? Do you want to see His glory? To know that His presence is with you?
God delights to reveal Himself.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me! —Thomas Chisholm
God is faithful. He doesn’t let me down, or disappoint.
So many times I overlook the gift of His grace. I find it easy to get caught up in the moments of the day, blindly overlooking all the ways that He is faithful. Not only has he been faithful to be today, but each morning brings new mercies.
Grace abundant.
Today I am thankful for:
*crisp winter morning *bright sunshine * petting the horse’s muzzle *the smell of fresh coffee * warm sweater * smiles from friends * church family * lunch with my husband and daughter * good conversation * school assignment turned in! * quiet afternoon * Super Bowl fun * looking forward to some snow tomorrow *a new week ahead
I’m sitting on the couch, watching House episodes on Netflix with my husband. I’m wrapped up in my oversized Christmas sweater, and am enjoying sipping a coffee, as I contemplate. Itty Bitty, one of the long haired cats, is napping behind me, on the sofa table, as warm light pools on the living room floor. I can see the boxes that are filled with the decorations I took down this afternoon. The dishwasher is humming, the clothes dryer is going, and the dogs toys are scattered all over the floor. This is life at my house.
Today is also my anniversary. My husband and I will go out for a special dinner, leaving our adult children to forage for themselves on this night. My husband and I have been married ten years already. That is hard to believe. Both of us had been widowed in our thirties, losing our first spouses at a young age. It was ten years ago on this very day, that I was reminded that God loves me….and that He is the extravagant Giver of second chances.
As the New Year approached in 2000, I didn’t know what the future would hold. Now, here I am 15 years later. A new life. A new purpose. A brand new year that I get to experience. I am blessed, and one of the greatest joys for me, and the most humbling, is understanding how blessed I am….not taking anything for granted. Things could be different for me. I know that. I try to remember to say thank you to God…..every single day. There really is so much to be thankful for.
2 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.
4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”
15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. Luke 2:1-20 NIV
This blog post is from my archives…..I think I needed to read it again today.
The paper was yellowed with age, and it was deeply creased. I gently unfolded it and was taken back to decades past.
The report card(s)made me smile, as former teachers faces flashed before my eyes. I was an A and B student for most of my school career. Grades were important to me, I always wanted to do my best. If my grades didn’t match what I thought my effort deserved, then I was disappointed in myself.
There is was. My eyes caught that dreaded letter. “D”. One of two that I received in my entire school career. It was in typing of all things. Yes, typing. It was my sophomore year in high school and it was a mandatory class. Computers in the early 80’s were still not “personal” and most people didn’t have one. This was the pre-social media age. (haha) I learned to type on an electric typewriterwhose size took up an entire desk. The timed tests are what got me. Too many mistakes. Oh, how I teared up when the teacher told me the bad news! I was devastated.
I wasn’t good enough. How could I let this happen?
Almost thirty years later, I still struggle with the not good enough. Oh, not the “D”…that has long since melted into history…but, the underlying question remains, “am I good enough?”
How many times do I set the bar in my life, only to fail? To come up short. At times, not even be in the game?
I am guilty of believing that I was the one in control. That when bad things happen I could have, should have, done something. Done better. Tried harder.
I was never in control. Never. Not once. Not, really.
That is a profound statement, isn’t it? So many times we think about the “if onlys”. If only I was smarter, faster, prettier, skinnier, more organized, more outgoing, more capable……more. more. more. If only I met all these requirements, then everything would be alright. I’d be in control of my circumstances.
It is a struggle. I wish it wasn’t. I want to see myself, like Christ sees me.
Redeemed.
“But, Lord……if only I’d pray more often. If only I did my devotions every day. If only I loved more and forgave more. If only I was more of a reflection of you in my daily life.” And the “if onlys” widen the gap between me and the One that calls me worthy.
In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12 NIV
But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— Colossians 1:22 NIV
And the tears fall, as the words sink in.
It Just Dawned On Me 