Challenge #7, The Best Party Ever

It was a turning point year, the year I turned forty. My husband, kids, and I were celebrating my special day with my mom and my sister and her family. I’ve always enjoyed birthdays with family. My growing up years, as far back as I can remember, was always celebrating birthdays with family. The traditional birthday cake, ice cream, and presents. Is there really any other way to commemorate the completion of another year?

This particular year, the year I turned forty, was not so unusual, and yet it was. Turning forty was a mile marker, a special birthday, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to be a forty-something.  My husband acted a little anxious, and seemed to be rushing the party along. I was enjoying myself, why make it go any faster? Suddenly everyone was tired, so we said our good-byes and started home. As soon as we got home, my husband suggested me go out for coffee (which was a normal “date” for us). I thought it a little odd that we just got home and he wanted to go back out, but I was clueless. It wasn’t until we were several miles down the interstate that I started to wonder what was going on. He said we are just going for a drive. I questioned, where? He responded “a birthday surprise”. My husband had “kidnapped” me and was whisking me off for a weekend get-away to Asheville, N.C. to start my 40’s off right.

We had so much fun, and it was made even more special because of the effort my husband had made to have the kids taken care of, suitcases already packed and sneakily put into the trunk of the car, and having reserved a beautiful room in a gorgeous location.

That day turned out to be one of my most memorable birthdays….the best party ever.

Challenge #5, Before And After…

Yesterday’s challenge was my take on “Before and After”……

Before I became a follower of Christ, I thought I was “good enough”. After, I understood I was a sinner in need of a Savior. I found love and I found redemption. I realized that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. My life changed…for all eternity.

Before I was married, I thought I understood what it meant to share, to compromise, to trust, to love. After, I knew what it was to create a life together, to put aside my pride and say “I’m sorry”, to show forgiveness, and to remain committed through both good and bad times…..because life has a fair share of both.

Before I was a mom, I thought I knew how to be a good parent. After, I understood love in a way I never understood it before. I laughed, I cried, my heart changed, and I happily gave my time, day in and day out, for this little one. Each year brings surprises, and each stage is a new adventure.

Before I was a teacher, I thought I knew what it was to run a classroom and be an excellent instructor. I would be planning assignments, and checking papers. After, I found out that teaching is more than students in a classroom, but young lives that looked to me for some answers in an otherwise confusing world. I learn as much from my students as they do from me. That is just the truth.

Before the deaths of my grandparents, husband, and father, I thought I understood how to grieve. After, I realized that grieving is different for everyone. Grief comes in waves like the ocean, and one must face those waves and move through them. There are good days, and there are bad days, and on some days all I could do was breathe.

Life is full of before’s and after’s. The older I get the more I realize that when I am standing in “the before” I rarely understand. Oh, it is easy to think I do, but life has a way of teaching lessons in the midst of “the after”. Valuable, cherished moments. Lessons learned.

 

 

 

 

 

There Is Much To Be Thankful For

I’m sitting on the couch, watching House episodes on Netflix with my husband. I’m wrapped up in my oversized Christmas sweater, and am enjoying sipping a coffee, as I contemplate. Itty Bitty, one of the long haired cats, is napping behind me, on the sofa table, as warm light pools on the living room floor. I can see the boxes that are filled with the decorations I took down this afternoon. The dishwasher is humming, the clothes dryer is going, and the dogs toys are scattered all over the floor. This is life at my house.

Today is also my anniversary. My husband and I will go out for a special dinner, leaving our adult children to forage for themselves on this night.  My husband and I have been married ten years already. That is hard to believe. Both of us had been widowed in our thirties, losing our first spouses at a young age. It was ten years ago on this very day, that I was reminded that God loves me….and that He is the extravagant Giver of second chances.

As the New Year approached in 2000, I didn’t know what the future would hold. Now, here I am 15 years later. A new life. A new purpose. A brand new year that I get to experience. I am blessed, and one of the greatest joys for me, and the most humbling, is understanding how blessed I am….not taking anything for granted. Things could be different for me. I know that. I try to remember to say thank you to God…..every single day. There really is so much to be thankful for.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Sometimes The Sound Is Deafening

The morning is gray and still and it feels like rain is in the air, but who knows, that can change in a second around here. A Monday in mid-July, that is the beginning of a cool spell that is to arrive in the area. Not to offend all my summer, heat loving, friends but, the thought occurred to me this morning that October is less than three months away. My favorite time of the year. Not too hot, and not too cold, as Goldilocks would say, “just right”.

Weeks passing and months passing and I mull that over on the way back from the barn.

Time doesn’t stop. The moments speed along whether I’m “in” the moment or not. Although I love Fall, I am not ready for it to get here yet. This Fall brings changes to my life, and to those that I love. My son starts his freshman year of college in late August. He will be roughly four hours away in the land of frozen tundra (Michigan to those who don’t know). I am thrilled for him, and he has earned this chapter of his life…but, things will change. I’m not sure yet how I feel about that. Sigh.

My daughter begins her senior year in high school. The year will consist of finishing classes, ACT testing, senior pictures, filling out applications, and making a decision about a college or career. The culmination of years of work will be graduation. When she walks across the stage it will be both the beginning of a new chapter for her, and the end of mine and my husband’s days as parents of school age kids.

Everyone is an adult now. Being independent, making their own decisions. Our oldest son, is already out on his own, making his way in the world, and living with his own choices.

Time ticks off the minutes and sometimes the sound is deafening.

One of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, says that in order to slow down time one needs to see the moments and be thankful. When we are thankful we enjoy the time more, we see things more clearly, and are grateful to God who gave us this life.

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Today I am thankful for: 

*beautiful glowing super moon that lit up the yard with its light last night

*giving belly rubs to the dogs

*a cat in the lap

*a new way of eating that makes me feel so much better and healthier

*ripe summertime tomatoes

*fresh blueberries

*HGTV marathons:)

*inside jokes with my husband

*my husband, who loves me….even when I am feeling unloveable

*kids that are no longer kids….my children, all grown up

*gray morning sky

*turning back toward the house after getting the mail, and being awestruck by the azure sky and white clouds

*stopping in the driveway and raising my arms in the air, so overwhelmed with the beauty of nature, and yelling “THANK YOU, GOD” at the top of my lungs…. my voice echoing back to me off the side of the metal barn. I believe God has a sense of humor and no one can convince me otherwise. I think after that outburst God gave me a fist bump. 🙂

 

 

 

One Hot Mama Mess

On this first Friday in May, are you ready – give us five minutes on the word MESS?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is May, less than a month before my son’s graduation from high school. Who knew how much had to be done, get done, come undone? I’ve got stuff piled on top of stuff…announcements and pictures and lists of things to do for his graduation party….and my daughter is homeschooling and that brings with it a whole other mess of “to do’s”. I’m also a teacher and it is the end of the school year and there is paperwork, and testing, and assignments to finish and progress reports to fill out and it makes me tired thinking about it all! My husband tells me to relax. I tell him I don’t know how.

I’ve scheduled a couple of “girls day out” things in the midst of it all. I will need that time to recuperate, for sure…..either that or just pass out…..which now that I think about it, might not be such a bad thing. I would at least get a few moments of rest, but I digress…..back to my mess!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I sit here typing, I’ve noticed dog fur tumbleweeds on the floor, and fingerprints, a carpet that needs vacuumed and a table that needs wiped. Dishes that are in the sink and a half drank glass of tea. I try to keep things neat around this joint, but Better Homes and Gardens will probably not be knocking on my door anytime soon.

The yard needs mowed, the chicken coop needs cleaned and we must get the deck power washed and the furniture brought out of storage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep…..I’ll be either be completely bald, or have a head full of gray hair by the end of this month. Now, won’t that look great for those graduation pictures?! By the way, that reminds me I need to get a hair cut. I need to pencil that in on the calendar. Um……right there between the appointment for the dogs vaccinations and my birthday.

 

 

When Did The Days Become Years?

Twenty-four hours, never seems like enough.

Don’t we all feel the way the moments of sand slip through the hour glass of time?

When did the days become years?

And why wasn’t I truly awake to see them?

Oh, my eyes work, but often times I miss what is right in front of me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Capture the pictures with eyes wide open.

Heart moments.

The moments that really matter.

The ones that will be remembered for all the times to come.

 

“But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand.” – Psalm 31:14-15, ESV

 

I Can’t Do This Alone

I received the call from my son yesterday afternoon.

The van wouldn’t start. It was setting dead in the school parking lot. My son said he could catch a ride home, but the van remained.

Sigh.

Husband and I trekked over to the parking lot. The van was still there, setting forlornly in the waning light of day. A valiant road trip warrior that was just plain tired.

I could relate.

Somedays it seems I just can’t take ONE… MORE… THING.

When the days bring things that are broken, schedules crunched, tension mounting, work to finish, money tight, everything feels like it is about to implode.

And I want to scream, or cry…or both.

I long for life to be easier. I wait for the day that everything will make sense.

No worries, no stress, no heartache.

Can you relate? Do your days seem long, also? Ever feel like your good just isn’t good enough?

For now, I hold my head in my hands and attempt to breathe deeply. A whisper of prayer escapes my lips, nothing lofty or well spoken.

In the midst, I find myself crying out to God. So tired, Lord. I need Your peace. I need Your counsel. I need You. Oh, God! I need You. When life sucks all the oxygen out of the day to day and I feel I can’t catch my breath or catch a break….. I need You. Every day I need You.

Let’s face it, sometimes life is hard. It is a struggle to walk the walk when all I want to do is run. The burdens of life weigh heavy and I fear I will be buried in the avalanche. I need the One who is stronger than I am.

And so on days that are dim, I search for the Light, because I realize that I can’t do this alone.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”   John 8:12  ESV

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5: 7-9  NIV

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 ESV

 

For The Love Of Laundry

I can’t believe it is already Friday…again. The days, they move with lightening speed.

Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is: LAUNDRY.

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When I first saw today’s prompt, I thought, laundry? Really? What is there to say about laundry?

Stinky clothes. Stained with mud and crud.

Piles of laundry…never ending mounds and pounds of clothes.

Ordinary, mundane, several times a week, laundry.

Have to get it done, not really a choice. A chore that I can do without thinking about it.

But, as I write this, something occurs to me.

Sometimes the greatest things can be found in the most simple and ordinary. (and no, I don’t mean finding change in jeans pockets…although that is a perk)

I am thankful for the family members that wear these clothes.

I am grateful that I have a washer and dryer and don’t have to lug all this mess to the Laund-O-Rama. (been there, done that)

After all, there is a story in my Mt. Washmore.

The story of our lives.

 

 

Being True

The word for Five Minute Friday is: TRUE.   Go…….                                                                                                        

Uh oh. Do I want to do this?

The truth is, my house is never as clean and neat as I want it to be…

I pour over decorating magazines and dream about having it look like those in the pictures.

It will probably never happen. Ever.

I wish I looked like I did in my 20’s, sans the big hair. I want to be more accepting of the fact that I am 45.

The forties are supposed to be great years. Old enough to know, still young enough to do something about it.

That is the thought anyway. Truth is, sometimes I feel like a kid in a middle aged body, some days I have it together and some days I don’t.

I am the most comfortable in jeans and t-shirts. Although, glamming it up once in awhile is fun.

I need to exercise more. Sigh.

I color my hair, because I’ve always been a blond. I didn’t like my hair getting darker as I got older.

I decided to do something about it.

I love my new hairstyle, that I can tuck behind my ears. It is cute and sassy. That is what I tell myself any how.

Truth is, I love to read and write. I love to travel and dream. I love meeting people and hearing stories.

I’m glad I grew up in rural Maryland, lived in east Tennessee for decades, and am now living in the countryside of Ohio.

I am a lover of sunsets and clean, fresh sheets, warm towels straight out of the shower, and wet dog noses.

I love Jesus. I want to understand more. I try to do the right thing.

I teach and I learn and I laugh and I cry and make mistakes.

I make a lot of mistakes.

I yell and I slam around and I sometimes want to act like a two year old….because I can, and sometimes it makes me feel better.

I love watching the weather, and am kind of geeky about it. I also like scary movies and watching NetFlix with my husband.

I’m conservative and I pray and wonder what will happen to our country.

I love my family, even though all of us are imperfect. That is okay.

Truth is, I’m just figuring out life one day at a time.

Five minutes is up…..

 

 

 

 

 

Feel The Love

Going through my blog archives today….   This post made me smile, then laugh out loud. I do love the men in my life:)

Men…And Other Scary Animals

I like men. I actually love some of them. I think that a lot of time men get “bad raps” in the media. Not fair. They have a lot of good qualities that oft times get overlooked. On this note, I am dedicating today’s blog to my loving husband and sons, and all the other men out there that make the world a more crazy…eh hem….delightful place. I would also like to state for the record that this blog is MY opinion, and on MY blog that is the only one that counts. If you are a male basher don’t read this blog—because I am all about flowers and sunshine:)

 

1. Men like to fix things. This is very helpful to me when I have no clue as to what I am doing. “Honey, the thing- a- ma- bobber just fell off the what-cha-ma-call-it….do you think you can fix that for me? Sure. ( I love him!)

 

2. Unless the food is completely toxic and inedible men will give it a try…and sometimes ask for seconds. I love that they are not so picky.

 

3. Men are usually good with calculations. Math is not really my forte’. Well, upper level math is not my forte’ is what I should say. I also appreciate my husband’s precision when measuring for whatever it is that he is building for me.

 

4. Men are great foot warmers in bed. Most of the time they don’t complain, even if one’s feet are cold, most of the time they are just glad that you are snuggling with them.

 

5. Most men work really hard in their chosen career. (or even if it’s not their chosen career) They want to provide for their family. It makes them feel good–which in turn makes the family feel good:) Which makes them feel good. Which makes us feel good. See the circle of love?

 

6. Most men are really about 12 years old mentally. Some people see this as an obstacle that needs to be overcome. I see it as well…..let’s just say that burping contests, lawn mower races and wrestling each other to the floor is dangerous after a certain age, and leave it at that.

 

7. Men can look totally cute in the morning…even right after getting up. The messy hair and unshaven face just add to the mystique.

 

8. Men like to have female friends. Why do you think that so many men get married? ‘Cause they love us, girls. They really do. They realize how cool we actually are and they like to hang with us. This shows they obviously have good taste, right?

 

9. They are brave and courageous. Even if they are scared out of their wits they, most of the time, will be the one to get up and see what the scary noise is out in the living room. They also crawl under houses to fix things…braving snakes, possums, mice, or other vermin. They are supermen!

 

10. They are fun to have around and they make us laugh. They help to make the world a little more goofy, and less tense of a place.

 

11. They are not rattled when they take a wrong turn. “We’ll just drive around until we see something familiar.”

 

12. There is nothing better than a hug. Even if he is stinky, and sweaty and in need of a shower. ( I wonder if he will use that new lavender shampoo I just bought?)

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