The Cry Of A Mama’s Heart

From the moment that little baby is placed in your arms, you are in love. Isn’t that right, Mama? The months of nursing, lack of sleep, and snuggles. Walking, potty training, and refusal to eat “healthy” foods.  Skinned knees, hugs, laughter, and being tucked in at night. The days turn into weeks and the weeks to years. Suddenly (it seems that way) the little boy or girl is now a teen. Independence begins to blossom as they step from their teens into young adulthood. In my case, as a young widow who eventually remarried (to a young widower), I have been given the opportunity to be both a biological mother to my son, as well as a second mom to children who lost their own mother at a young age. When I said, “I do” to their Daddy, I also said, “I do” to them.

This is where I find myself. I am a mama of young adults. There are days when I am thrilled by this. Having young adult children is a sense of freedom for me! My husband and I are actually looking forward to the “empty nest”, hopefully in the not too far future. I am ready. What I was not ready for is the realization of how quickly time passes. Oh, I know it doesn’t always seem that way when in the midst of stinky soccer cleats, sibling fights, or worrying about teen drivers. But, time indeed does fly….and this mama’s heart beats just a little bit faster because of it.

My son, the one I carried for nine months in my body and forever after in my heart, will be graduating from college in May. Over Christmas break, he excitedly talked about the possibilities for life after school. He is a talented and determined cinematographer. He has already had the opportunity to travel, film, and see both the beauty and grittiness of life on this planet. As much as I love him, and he loves me, he is a man. He will find his own way, have his own unique life apart from me. For the last several years I have loosened my grip on him, praying for him, trusting that he will continue to seek Christ and grow into the person he was created to be.  Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight”. 

My older son that I have loved in my heart since I married his father, the one who lost his first mother at a young age, and was just beginning his teen years when we became family. This young man has always been the one who would try anything (often to his father’s and my dismay), could make me laugh, and became a Daddy a year ago to little Sweet Pea who is his biggest joy and blessing.  He is facing decisions in his life that, as his mom, I know are difficult. My heart aches for him. As a parent, we want our children to live the lives we always hoped for them. It seems like life never quite works out the way we have it planned for our kiddos. Our prayer is that his current and future decisions would be ones that would glorify his Heavenly Father and that he would trust in Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. NIV 

My daughter is small but mighty. She is beautiful and intelligent. She has a big heart, and her loving kindness toward me touches me. We don’t always agree on everything (she is extremely opinionated), but I know if push came to shove she’d have my back. She is a procrastinator to the nth degree, and I wish she would face life’s possibilities with a little more gusto, but she is working on it. I know God has much planned for this firecracker. This mama’s prayer is that she would not allow the ways of this world to shake her from what she knows is true. “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long”. Psalm 25:5

The oldest of my stepchildren lives in Texas with her children. Her children, my grandchildren, bring me much joy. I love spending time with them, and wish we lived closer. I am proud of my daughter. She is a hard worker and put herself through school and a master’s program. She is an officer in her hometown in Texas, during a time when law enforcement is under attack…and yet, she stands for what is right and good, even in the face of the unknown. As her (second) mom, I pray for her safety and for continued wisdom in decisions she makes, not only for herself but for her children. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”.