“…..I later learned that thinking about living is not the same as living”
Erin Loechner’s words hit me like a ton of bricks.
How many times have I said (or at least thought to myself) life would be better if. If I finished my graduate degree. If I did some serious deep cleaning. If I got rid of stuff. If I lost weight. If I’d faithfully exercise. If I got a new haircut. Ate whole food. Read more classics. Kept in touch more. If I was a better parent. Friend. Daughter. Wife.
Always those ifs. Draining me. Causing anxiety and stress. Doubting. It is the ifs that will surely kill me.
But, I want to live. I want to live my life slowly and intentionally with purpose.
I want to live in the messy and broken and still see the beauty. I want to be more aware of the gift of time so that I don’t take precious moments for granted….and aren’t they all precious? I want to learn more and read more and highlight the good stuff. I want to be less in a space where I can breathe. I want to live in a house full of love even if my closet looks like a bomb dropped in it and the counters aren’t always clean. I want to live and be healthy because I know I’d feel better and be stronger, not because the numbers on a scale or the ingredients on a package tell me who I am….or Whose I am. I want to live and have fun whether my hair is short or long, lavender, blond, or a golden brown….because the great thing about hair, it always grows back. I want to reach out to family and friends while I still can. Share laughter. And tears. And inside jokes and out of the box thinking, and I love you’s.
A life well lived doesn’t require perfection.
So, I’ll just take it slow.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1