Before And After…

This Monday, October 10th, would have been my late husband’s 50th birthday. He passed away almost 16 years ago, just a few weeks after he turned 34. The old saying about how time stops for no one, really is true. A lot has happened in the years since his death, much has changed.


Sometimes on special occasions or during certain events, I am reminded of the hands of time. My husband, a huge Dale Earnhardt fan, didn’t know his NASCAR hero died in the last lap of the Daytona  500 in February of 2001. He never watched in horror, as the Twin Towers fell, and thousands perished on that fateful day in September. He wasn’t there when our son was baptized, or when he graduated from high school. He didn’t vote in the last few elections, and never got to see his grandchildren be born.

For those of us that have lost a loved one, a strange thing happens. Life becomes a series of, “before’s and after’s”. Remembering what happened before that person passed. And, what has happened since?

Thinking about Kennis today. Looking at pictures and noticing his lopsided grin, that lives on in our son. Reading the words his daughter posted to me, about missing her Dad. At certain times, the embers of remembrance are stirred until a bright flame breaks through the darkness. A time comes when one starts celebrating the life that was, instead of mourning the death that occurred.



However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him–       1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV




5 thoughts on “Before And After…

  1. I really loved it! I just hate it took me this long to read it since I don’t get on Facebook much and the month of October always has me down! I love and miss that man, looking back he was a good father and done what he thought was right and we all know how much he loved me, Brittney, and Kendrick! Thanks to him and you I have so many wonderful memories, even if its playing video games with Kendrick or painting Derrick’s nails lol or playing dress up with the best step mother I could of ever asked for! It pains me he never got to see all of us grow, see his grandchildren (even though he would of probably killed me lol), or give us advice over the years, but I know he is my guardian Angel that watches and looks down on me! Thank you dawn for sharing such beautiful words about my father whom is dearly missed! Thank you also for helping raise me and my siblings and for all the memories I have to keep! I love and miss him so much! I also still love and miss you and Kendrick both!

    • Amanda,
      Thank you for that sweet comment. It means a lot to me to know you have good memories. I can hardly believe it will be 17 years this November 4 since your Daddy died. It often seems like a lifetime ago. When you lose someone you love you will forever have “before and after” thoughts. Before the person died, and all that has happened since. I find myself looking through old photo albums (before cell phones and digital cameras!) of pictures of all of us. Sweet memories. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry, and that is okay. Miss you too! I promise the next time I am in Knoxville, we should all get together. Love you.

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