Green Acres Is The Place For Me!

Today is a day to smile…or even laugh out loud. I am not one to take myself too seriously, and also am not above sharing some of my own exploits with my friends in the blog-o-sphere to allow you a chuckle, guffaw, or even…a snort. Just sayin’.

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“Green Acres is the place to be.

Farm livin’ is the life for me. 

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide 

Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.”
Green Acres Lyrics by Vic Mizzy

Some of my readers might be old enough to remember the TV show, Green Acres…or at least reruns of it. Or not. Regardless of whether you remember it, it was a funny TV show from the late ’60’s and early 70’s that aired on CBS. It was about a couple that moved from the city to the country.

Sometimes, when I am out feeding the chickens, or making my way to the barn to let the horse out into the pasture, or chasing the dogs around the yard, I “hear” the Green Acres theme song running through my head.

Just so you know, country life is not for wimps. Seriously. Today I am going to share some of the potential disasters as well as the gems of country living, just in case you are thinking about making the trek to the country. It is better to be informed.

Ten Things You Need To Know Before Making The Country Your Home:

1. Animals are messy and they poop a lot. And they don’t clean up their own poop. That is left up to you. Mucking out a stall, or cleaning out a chicken coop is your new domain. Own it. Make sure you have good boots, I speak from experience.

2. Chickens can be very entertaining to watch, almost relaxing if you catch them on a good day, OR it can be like all Hades has broken loose and Armageddon is upon us. Don’t be fooled, people. Chickens can be mean….to each other….and to you! The term “hen pecked” is real.

3. The Tractor Supply Company will become one of your all time favorite stores. You will find yourself pulling into TSC, when you are in town. It doesn’t matter whether you actually need anything or not…you go in, just to look around….or see the new baby chicks…or talk with the traveling vet….or maybe to price the new windmill lawn ornament. Don’t judge.

4. You will find yourself perusing Amazon for things like chicken “saddles”. Yes, they are a thing. No, one doesn’t ride a chicken….they are cute little “aprons” that protect the hens from the over eager rooster. Don’t ask questions.

5. You will become mesmerized by wide open spaces, green pastures, blue sky and quiet back roads. You will swear that no one has better sunrises or sunsets than you do. Don’t be embarrassed if you happen to stand in your side yard admiring the sun as it sinks into the horizon amidst blazing purples, pinks, and oranges… with your mouth hanging open in awe. Not that I’ve done that or anything.

6. There is nothing like a clear night in the country. Star gazing will become an addiction. You can’t see the stars in the city. You just can’t. Out in the country the stars shimmer like a million diamonds in an ink black sky. The fact that it is pitch black outside with not a street light in sight, is fine….just be aware that there are lots of animals that are nocturnal…um….in case you happen to run into one accidentally.

7. If you are truly in the country, you will probably be miles and miles away from everything. No “quick trips” to the grocery store, Wal-mart, the pharmacy, or a clothing store. Trips into town are usually planned, and if you forget to get something you are just out of luck. I do miss having a plethora of restaurants to choose from, all within 10 minutes of my house. Oh, well…..

8. During the cold weather months, the snow plow becomes a “thing”. Realize that your mailbox will most assuredly become a casualty of the plow. Most country mailboxes look like they survived a war, unless you are one of those people that have warm weather mailboxes and cold weather mailboxes….and you switch them out for the season. Don’t laugh, this happens.

9. Realize that any time you grill out on your porch or deck, will be the time that the farmer who lives behind you decides to spread manure. It is what it is. Stinky. Enjoy grilling out anyway. You will get used to the country “aroma”.

10. Don’t freak out if you see livestock in your front yard, munching on your grass. They don’t get boundaries…and, the grass truly is greener on the other side. Think of it as them doing their part to keep your large front yard mowed.

If none of these 10 things have deterred you, than maybe you should think about finding your own “Green Acres”. You can’t beat life out here in the country.

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2 thoughts on “Green Acres Is The Place For Me!

  1. Dawn, I’m still enamored with life where you live. I grew up close to the country and visited my aunt and uncle’s farm as often as I can. I’d still take country life, manure, grass-eating livestock, starry nights and all. Thanks for sharing. Love 5 and 6 above.

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