If you came to visit me this morning, at my house in the country, you would see a floor covered in muddy paw prints, a crock pot from last night’s dinner soaking in the sink, and a box of my “to do’s” sitting on the dining room table. Life happens…and it is happening here, right now, for sure. I have a million and one thoughts running through my head. Honestly, I don’t know if God has me learning a life lesson, or maybe I’m just losing it. Isn’t it that way for most of us?
Here is what I know right now.
Life is messy. It is always messy. Can you relate? Rarely, do things turn out the way I thought they should. Or would. Or could. Most of the time, I am living on a prayer. I have found that it is in the messiness of the day to day that God most often shows Himself….not because He isn’t always with me, but because it is when I am drowning in the details I see Him, and am forced to stop and recognize my need for Him.
I don’t know if it is my age, or my life experiences, or maybe both, but I feel like I want to do something different. I don’t have a plan yet….the thoughts about what, where and when are still very muddled in my mind. Have you ever felt like you are on the cusp of something, but you are not exactly sure what that something is? That is me. I am there. Standing on the edge…of something. Nervous. Excited. Scared to death.
Today is the day.
I think. I plan. I dream.
Blonde hair and muddy work boots. Dog walking and egg collecting and horse feeding. Tutoring students, and reading blogs. Mopping floors, and shaping thoughts. Learning and loving and not forgetting to take my vitamins. Seeing beauty in the simple. Journaling. Words on paper. Planning, advocating, attempting to make a difference in my life and the lives of others. Listening to music that inspires and books that spark my imagination. Taking out the trash and wiping down kitchen counters. Light through turquoise glass. Fog misted sky and trees patiently waiting for Spring. Memorizing verses, and being reminded of what is truly important. Breathing deeply and being thankful.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5&6