Joy And Pain

“Joy and pain can co-exist.” –Lois Raby 

Her words jumped off the video, right into my heart.

She had lost her husband in a hot air balloon accident when their girls were still young.

Now years later, her daughter was getting married….and her Daddy wasn’t there to witness the great event.

Joy for the wonderful union of her daughter with the man she loved. Pain because of the one that was missing.

The thoughts, the memories, swirl through my mind and touch my heart.

My son has convocation at his school tonight.

He will be honored for all his achievements.

This mama’s heart will be overflowing. So much joy for him, mixed with some sadness for his father who isn’t here to see it.

My son was five when his father died. He was just beginning kindergarten, the autumn we buried his dad.

He was just starting. A sweet and innocent five year old, turning the first pages at school.

Years have come and gone, and he is now a graduating senior, closing this chapter of his life, excited to open the next.

Preparing for this……thrilled for him.

Realizing that joy and pain can and do co-exist.

 

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24  KJV 

 

 

Instant Replay Tuesday

“TUESDAY” production sign (Photo credit: Vaguely Artistic)

An instant replay out of my blog archives……it is early Tuesday morning and I am hitting the ground running……. My words still ring true.

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I read her words…. once. Twice.

“Stop trying to work things outbefore their times have come. Accept the limitations of living one day at a time.” –Sarah Young

Isn’t it apropos that this should be what I read today? Especially, after the kind of day I had on Tuesday.

Accepting the limitations. Learning to live one day at at time.

One day at a time is enough, more than enough, to do what needs to be done.

Because aren’t there always going to be needs? And the desire to get things done? And aren’t I always pushing for more time?

And isn’t He there in the midst?  Already. Working things out according to His will?

Isn’t this, after all, what I should be seeking? To know Him. To trust Him. To believe Him, more.

Limitations are not a weakness, but a strength.

It is those very things that limit me, that allow me to draw closer…

to the One who is limitless, and unchanging.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8 NIV

I Call Fowl

The chickens were let out of the coop while my husband and I did some Spring cleaning. 

We have two dogs and three barn cats that intently watched the chickens on their adventure outside of the protective confines of wire and wood.

I kept an eye on my feathery friends and made sure they stayed in the front yard.

Well…….for the most part.

A couple of “the girls” went on a chicken run to the side of the house.

Straight for the collie!

I believe my neighbors think I’ve lost my mind after watching what ensued. I took off after the wayward hens yelling, “Stop! Stop! That big furry guy killed your kind in the big chicken massacre of 2012!!!” (out of reverence for the deceased I will not go into the gory details)

By the way, running at chickens just causes a lot more confusion and mayhem, for those who don’t know.

This did not seem to deter them…which says a lot about chickens and their overall intelligence.

I began yelling at the dog, who looked confused as to why I was yelling at him. He was just trying to nap in the shade, all the while with one eye open to see where those noisy, feathery creatures were going.

I managed to chase them back to the front with the others….all with a lot of running around and “Shoo…shoo…..move it girls!” coming from me.

Eventually, with a lot of help from my husband, the coop was ready for Mr. Rooster and his nine girlfriends to re-enter their sanctuary.

Chickens aren’t the smartest birds on the block (hmmm…maybe “on the block” is a poor choice of words when discussing chickens. Sorry.) …….and they sure aren’t good listeners.

But, they do like to be fed.

I coaxed them back in with food, and a little chicken wrangling help from hubby.

Free range chickens are great and it would be wonderful to allow that all the time, but alas our other pets just see them as a yummy chicken dinner.

So, they are locked back down. Safe and secure behind the wire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Today I am thankful for: 

*humor

* helping hands

* fresh eggs

* a husband I can laugh with

* sunny days

* good friends

* an ice cold glass of water

* God, who has a sense of humor

* the men and women who sacrificed  for this country

* Memorial Day–a day to remember…..

 

Savor The Closeness

At Five Minute Friday.…..today the word is CLOSE.

One, two, three…….GO!

The sun sank down on the horizon, exploding the last vestiges of evening light.

The blaze, caused the shadows from the barn to fall long across the yard.

I stopped and stared across the back field, to where the fence posts butted up against the neighbor’s farmland.

The cottony wisp of clouds contrasted against the rosy pinks, bright blues and lavender purples of the sky.

My eyes snapped a picture and immediately filed the image in my memory.

I listened to the quiet and savored the closeness I felt with the Creator of all this beauty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Didn’t Know Her

I didn’t know her.

I had never spoken to her before yesterday afternoon.

As a matter of fact, I hadn’t even known she existed.

But, in that moment…the internet brought us together.

Her words cried out to me from the computer screen.

As a child she had been taught more about fearing God than following Him.

She was told that she would probably go to Hell.

Her young heart was wounded by words that cut deep.

As an adult she has questions.

Is this true? Should I only fear God?

Or…is it possible that He loves me?

And my heart broke wide open.

Broken for all those that have lived lives wondering…because of careless, callous words that ripped through their childhoods.

Although, I was only able to speak to this woman through words typed on a screen, I pray she heard my heart.

More than that, I pray that she allows God to see her heart.

For her to know that Jesus loves her. He loves her so much that He took her place, filled the gap between her and God.

Jesus found her worthy. Worthy enough to die for.

That He wants her to know Him. Lovingly, intimately, fearlessly…

I don’t even know where she lives…..but, God does……and He wants her to finally come home.

 

 

Faith In God

My husband is leading the Wednesday night Bible study.

His words continue to replay in my thoughts.

“What does it mean to have faith?” 

What do you place your faith in? Who do you place your faith in?

Faith in God and His Son, Jesus.

Faith in the One, who is who He says He is.

Faith in His unchangeable character.

Faith in His sovereignty.

Faith that nothing is impossible for Him, or through Him.

Believing in Him, trusting in Him, because without Him there is no real faith.

Faith in things, or other people, or in ones self….is empty.

I am weak, but He is strong.

I am fickle, but He is the Rock.

I know so little, but He is all knowing.

I am quick to anger, but He is long-suffering, patient.

I give up and want to quit, He knows no limits.

Without this faith, it is impossible to please God.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 NIV

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday

I looked at the pregnancy test one more time.

Yep, it said positive!

I let my excitement show through a scream of delight.

I was going to be a mommy!

My son made his appearance the following May, after hours of hard labor.

His cry split the air, and changed my world forever.

Nineteen years have come and gone since that time I first heard his voice.

No longer a child, now a young man.

He still carries his mom’s heart with him…

no matter how many years have passed.

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Today I am thankful for: 

* my son’s birthday

* being a mommy

* less than 2 weeks left of school

* Mocha icebox cake

* hugs

* birthday presents

* friendships

* beautiful warm sunshine

* unlimited possibilities

* God who makes all things possible

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENDRICK!!!!

 

A Rich Life

Tomorrow I will turn 46.

The years, they have come and gone, but more than time has shaped me into who I am today.

Although I have never dwelt on my age, I sometimes find it hard to believe.

I guess most of us are like that? Remembering back and looking forward. Wondering when the years changed us.

A full life. A rich life…..

A good life, but not a perfect life.

My life.

The sun is streaming through the kitchen windows. This day is new and fresh and real.

My last day of 45.

An overflowing laundry hamper, an unmade bed. Flowers from Mother’s Day and cookies that my daughter baked. My son sleeping through the pain of having his wisdom teeth removed. Looking forward to my son’s graduation and family visiting. Sun streaming through the house…warmth that shows all the dust. My favorite hoodie and new tennis shoes. Needing to walk more and workout more. Struggling to get things right. A book full of Amish recipes and a brand new llama cria across the road. Birthday cards in the mail and dinner out with my husband. Sweet tea and good books. Blogging and reading glasses. Open fields and practicing songs for church choir. The end of the school year and looking forward to relaxing this summer. Mountain top experiences and trials through fire. Friends that will help me. Family that loves me.

Sure, there is sadness….but, there is also SO MUCH JOY.

Jesus loves me and with God nothing is impossible…and that is always enough, but He chooses to give me so much more.

This whole messed up, mixed up, and completely glorious life is a gift.

 

 

 

 

 

One Foot In Front Of The Other

I pulled the door shut behind me on my way to take the animals their breakfast. 

The rain was falling lightly against the slick fabric of my raincoat.

My knee high rubber boots splashed in the already deep puddles, as I walked the well worn path to the barn.

Familiar. Routine. Expected.

Sometimes I need that in life.

It is soothing.

When the world is busy and full, there is a calm…a peace in what is known.

One foot in front of the other.

 

 

 

Striving For More

Disability is defined as a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.        

It is considered a handicap or an impairment. Not typical.

Sometimes a person’s disability can be seen…and at other times it cannot.

There are challenges for those having a disability. Accepting ones limitations without accepting defeat. Living life without living less.

On the other hand, one can be perfectly healthy both physically and cognitively, but live a far greater disability, shown by ignorance.

No one should have to live in a box, only longing to be free.

Able bodied doesn’t mean ability, anymore than disabled body mean dis-ability.

People are so much more, and have so much to offer when given the opportunity.

And shouldn’t we all strive to see the person inside? See the whole, instead of the parts?

Yesterday, I went to a conference sponsored by Joni and Friends. As one who has worked in the special needs community for most of my life, I am no stranger to working with individuals that face challenges on a daily basis. I was mesmerized and energized by the speakers at this event, making a difference in their communities in real and tangible ways.

Striving for more.

The world is always better when we stop to help each other.