This particular post is just going to be free thought, my words tumbling out like the white capped waves of the rapids. Sometimes I just get in the mood to write, but I don’t have anything profound to say. I just want to write…and really at times when I do this I usually find some meaningful nugget in the middle of the mess. I should make that my motto,”Finding A Meaningful Nugget In The Middle Of The Mess”. I like it. I could make it into a sign and hang it over the doorway.
Don’t we all have times where we wonder if we are the only one? The only one that feels a certain way? The only one that feels scared or nervous? Or goofy or nuts? The one that is a hot mess. The one who can dish out wise words in one breath and then feel like a 16 year old trapped in an adult body in the next? How in the world can I be expected to make rational decisions when in my head I don’t feel I know what I am doing?! Sigh. And no, before you think anything, I do not have a split personality….although at times, it might seem that way. Come on, admit it. You feel that way sometimes.
Life is a lot like that. New situations. New people. New chances. Not sure of what the future might hold, but diving in any how. Even if I don’t always have it all planned out, and am not sure how it all will turn out. None of us really know, do we? I mean we can hope and plan, and pray, but we are not the ones in control. We never were. I need to think about that some more. Sometimes letting go is a lot more freeing then desperately attempting to control the circumstances of life. I’m not saying I shouldn’t plan, because to me planning is being responsible. Just a note to myself to remember God is the one in control. The closer I stay to Him, the better off I’ll be. There, that is it. The meaningful nugget! Be close to God.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4 NIV