I Can’t Do This Alone

I received the call from my son yesterday afternoon.Rusted-apya-007

The van wouldn’t start. It was setting dead in the school parking lot. My son said he could catch a ride home, but the van remained.

Sigh.

Husband and I trekked over to the parking lot. The van was still there, setting forlornly in the waning light of day. A valiant road trip warrior that was just plain tired.

I could relate.

Somedays it seems I just can’t take ONE… MORE… THING.

When the days bring things that are broken, schedules crunched, tension mounting, work to finish, money tight, everything feels like it is about to implode.

And I want to scream, or cry…or both.

I long for life to be easier. I wait for the day that everything will make sense.

No worries, no stress, no heartache.

Can you relate? Do your days seem long, also? Ever feel like your good just isn’t good enough?

For now, I hold my head in my hands and attempt to breathe deeply. A whisper of prayer escapes my lips, nothing lofty or well spoken.

In the midst, I find myself crying out to God. So tired, Lord. I need Your peace. I need Your counsel. I need You. Oh, God! I need You. When life sucks all the oxygen out of the day to day and I feel I can’t catch my breath or catch a break….. I need You. Every day I need You.

Let’s face it, sometimes life is hard. It is a struggle to walk the walk when all I want to do is run. The burdens of life weigh heavy and I fear I will be buried in the avalanche. I need the One who is stronger than I am.

And so on days that are dim, I search for the Light, because I realize that I can’t do this alone.

“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”   John 8:12  ESV

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5: 7-9  NIV

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 ESV

 

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To Everything There Is A Season

At Faith Barista*Today’s Thursday 1/30/14 Writing prompt: 
Photo Journal Your Heart. How has God been touching your heart this month? Share what you see.

It has been a bitterly cold and snowy January, here in Ohio. Some people dislike the winter months, saying that everything  looks dead. They don’t like the cold and snow and can’t wait for the warmth of Spring. I am not one of those people, I embrace Winter.  Winter is a time to rest, rejuvenate, and prepare for the months ahead. To everything there is a season.

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My morning view

My morning view

A cold January with beautiful sunrises

A cold January with beautiful sunrises

Even the stark branches are beautiful

Even the stark branches are beautiful

The quiet stillness that snow brings

The quiet stillness that snow brings

Good Morning!

Good Morning!

Trekking to church on challenging winter roads.

Trekking to church on challenging winter roads.

I love watching winter sunrises, the colors are incredible!

I love watching winter sunrises, the colors are incredible!

A snowy month

A snowy month

An Awe Inspiring View

I was the one standing outside in the freezing cold. The temperatures this week have dipped well below zero more than once. Even though the night blew cold and the wind attempted to claw the scarf from my neck, I stayed. I pulled my hat down over my ears, clenched my mittened hands and stared. The view laid out before me took my breath away, like no cold and bitter wind ever could. IMG_0183

Velvet black, deep and vast, sprinkled with twinkling lights. A clear, crisp winter night birthed an awe inspiring view of the universe. Moonlight filtered through the vast darkness, leaving a magical aura of night.

Living in the country, away from the lights of town, allows for wonderful night time panoramas of God’s glory. As I stood outside, chin tilted skyward, up toward the heavens, I was reminded of just how BIG my God actually is. His very words spoke this scene into existence.

Over billions of miles, the heavenly bodies cry out to glorify their Creator. I am humbled that I had the opportunity to gaze on the wonders of His creations.

Worshiping God doesn’t only happen in church. Sometimes it happens out in the front yard on a freezing cold winter night, eyes gazing heavenward.

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1 In the beginning was the Word,and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. 6 There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.    John 1 NIV

Seeing Life in 20/20

I couldn’t even see the big neon numbers on the alarm clock. Squinting hard, it just looked like a greenish haze. My vision was terrible. I had worn glasses since I was in first grade, and went through years of different styles of glasses and contacts…all so I could see.

I wanted good vision. I longed for it actually. img_0211.jpg

And isn’t that what we all long for? To have 20/20 about the important things of life?

Living this life with eyes wide open to all that truly matters.

Shouldn’t we all long to see?

I was 36. I had opportunity to have LASIK surgery on my eyes. I was scared. What if my vision became worse? What if something happened? My desire to see clearly was stronger than my fear. I had the surgery with my eyes wide open. The surgeon told me, “Your vision will go gray and you won’t be able to see anything for a few seconds…but, that is normal. It will be fine, just trust me.”

Ten minutes later I looked out on my world with perfect 20/20 vision. Thirty-six years of blurriness, replaced with perfect vision in 10 minutes.

I tell people it is the closest thing to a modern day miracle that I have ever witnessed. Incredible. Life changing.

I looked at the world differently….being able to see, changed everything. It changed me.

My physical eyes allow me to see my world around me in all its crisp brilliance.

My spiritual eyes allow me to see all the amazing gifts that God gives each and every day, and for that I am truly thankful.

Psalm 106:1 
 Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

The Light Shines In The Darkness

 

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The clouds rolled in on that late summer day,

incredibly dark and foreboding.

Winds picked up as the sun was completely blotted out.

Amazing to watch from my vantage point inside the house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_1099Not so much, if stuck outside in the middle of the storm.

How many times have I been caught in the storms of life?

Unable to see the sun, but knowing that it is there.

Remaining faithful.  Realizing that storms don’t last forever, even if it seems that way at the time.

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”  John 1:5 

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Continuing to memorize verses, from the book of John, for The Jesus Project.

 

 

 

He Won’t Go Alone

I had opportunity last week to spend some one on one time with my 18 year old son. Lately, those moments have been few and far between, as life has a way of hurrying us along. The days turn into weeks and this mom is left with the sands of time streaming through her fingers.

While in the car, my son looked at me and said, “You know these next few months are the last months that you will see me on a consistent, regular basis. Soon I will be away at college, working, eventually on my own.” Words from an 18 year old excited as he looks to his future. Words that sear his mother’s heart. He is right, not much time left. Life is changing.

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He is more man than boy. I remember when he was a young toddler imagining what he would look like at age 5. I recall being surprised when he turned 13, not knowing how that much time had passed. Now, as a young adult, I have a mixture of love and pride in seeing who he has become.

As his mom, I will always love him, but it is my responsibility to loosen my grip, as difficult as it is, and let him go.

But, he won’t go alone.

He is a child of the King, the One who loves him and knows him intimately. The One I can trust and believe when He says He will never leave my son nor forsake him. A mother’s love is strong, but the love of The Father is deeper and everlasting and nothing can separate us from His love. Not ever. No matter where life takes us.

This is true if one is 18 and just starting out, or a mother who is learning to let go.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.        Romans 8 NIV

And that is something to be thankful for…..