Bonnie, at Faith Barista, challenged her readers to think of one word that will be their word for 2012.
I started thinking about that word yesterday….my blog from yesterday was about trust.
So, I am choosing TRUST as my word.
A difficult word.
I will admit that I struggle with that word.
Trust requires the letting go of control, something I am not good at. AT ALL.
I’ve thought about it…and I believe that I am insightful enough to have realized something about myself.
Keeping control makes me feel like I AM in control of my life.
Safety. Security. Knowing. Those are important to me.
I’ve never been a “fly by the seat of your pants” type of girl.
CHECK. CHECK,CHECK. CHECK,CHECK, CHECK!!! Getting the to do list done!
What a lie!
A lie that I willingly allowed myself to believe.
I’m not in control. I never have been.
Control is just a facade that allowed me to feel better.
Trust in Me…Jesus whispered.
I AM, is in control.
I have been a Christian for 33 years this coming May. That’s a long time,huh?
Thirty-three years of trusting Christ, and then taking it back.
Clawing and gripping for the control, that I don’t even own.
I’m tired. Who do I think I am, anyway? Do I think that I can do a better job in my life, than He can?
Really? Do I?
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding… Proverbs 3:5 NIV
Lean not on my own understanding…..because really, what do I know?
I am unable to see even a minute into my future.
I can plan, but it is like building one’s house on sand….not sure. Not sturdy. Can easily be destroyed.
trust is my word.
Trusting in the One who says…..
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Laying my life at His feet.
Trusting in Christ alone.