Do I Suffer, Well?

The words stung.

The question was hard.

“Do I suffer, well ?”

The words sank into me. Quietly. Thoughtfully.

Could I answer this? Honestly?

Being a GriefShare facilitator, walking with others through the darkness ……. faced with questions that are often times difficult to answer…

“Do I suffer, well ?”

The question was not asking do I suffer. I could have answered that, easily.

I do. You do. We all do. The question of suffering is deep seated, in the heart, of all.

Sometimes I  suffer in the glaring lights of hospitals, the nurse urgently yelling “Code Blue”.

Then the sounds of stillness. No breathing. No life.

At other times the suffering is in silence, locked in my own thoughts, left to wonder if fear is ever anything, but raw?

So, yes I suffer…but, do I suffer well?

The room is quiet. I can hear myself breathing, ever so softly.

Well?

When suffering comes, and it always comes in some form…..

Do I run to God?  or away?

Because isn’t that what suffering well, really means? That I know who to run to for comfort?

Going to the One who understands what it is to suffer, so much better than I do.

When the hurt is all consuming and my thoughts are incoherent….

When the cry can’t escape my throat…

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26  KJV

Isn’t it important who my weary soul searches for?

If I must suffer, and in this world that is not even the question…

I want to know that I’ve done it well.

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