I Still Have A Lot To Learn

Cross-shaped window inside church in Hicksvill...

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Today, at A Holy Experience, we are spending our second Wednesday talking about forgiveness. To be honest, I have sat at my computer for quite a while this morning, struggling with what to write. I wanted to write something deep and comforting. Something helpful and yet profound. Frankly, it all fell flat.This is not the day for that.

I struggle with forgiving others. I understand about forgiveness. I understand that unforgiveness can cause resentment and bitterness. I get it. I do.

And yet…..

the hurt feelings

the betrayal

the lies

the pain

the harsh words

the moments lost

the feelings forgotten

The human part of me wants for the offender to hurt…as much as he/she hurt me. It is an ugly feeling. One for which I am not proud. It makes me feel less, to even admit it. Would it make me feel better? Would it? Would it be settled in my mind if I felt like the offender had their fair share of hurt?

No, probably not.

And the truth is I am no better. I’m sure in my lifetime I have said a lot and done plenty that has left other people raw and wounded. My words have the ability to cut deeper than any knife.

And I am ashamed.

My eyes skimmed across this scripture…and I didn’t feel quite so alone. We humans have a lot to learn, much to be reminded of…

7Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame—the people of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to you. 8 We and our kings, our princes and our ancestors are covered with shame, LORD, because we have sinned against you. 9 The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him; 10 we have not obeyed the LORD our God or kept the laws he gave us through his servants the prophets. 11 All Israel has transgressed your law and turned away, refusing to obey you.  Daniel chapter 9  NIV

God is merciful and forgiving…

He who had never sinned, humbled himself to walk among sinners.

His love was so great…

His forgiveness so immense…

And I need to be more like Him.

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How do you forgive?