Monthly Archives: March 2011

God, Are You There?

sunrise on a beautiful morning

Image via Wikipedia

A decade has come and gone, and yet I still remember those early days…

God, are you there?

A whisper in the darkness… my voice deep with emotion.

Do you hear me?

Heart heavy with the grieving

My emotions bleeding out all over the floor.

Too exhausted to even raise my head,

I lay prostrate-

the scratch of the carpet against my face.

Whispers to The One who promises me He will never leave me

I am humbled and broken.

The living room becomes a most holy place

as I quietly worship, through tears, the One who I know is a defender of widows

and a father to the fatherless.

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.”  Psalm 68:5 NIV

The loss of my first husband and my journey through the valley of the shadow of death is just part of my story.

All glory be to God, that it was not the end of my story!

He takes the broken. The bruised. The hurt. The sad. The angry. The bitter.

The Great Physician performs surgery on the heart,

and breathes new life into a grieving soul.

After stumbling in the darkness of grief, I know that joy comes in the morning.

I also know that joy comes after the mourning.

Joy does come again.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:18 NIV

She-Speaks Button

The She Speaks conference is about women connecting to the hearts of  other women, and more importantly connecting to the heart of God. If you might be interested in going to this conference, please visit Ann Voskamp’s blog at A Holy Experience, where she is offering a scholarship opportunity for the conference.

My name is Dawn. The name means “sunrise” and is often used to signify new beginnings.  That is what God did for me. I am a new beginning through Him.

I am living, breathing proof of God’s tender love and mercy.

When the pain is so great that words are not enough…

God will meet you there.

It is because of this, that my heart’s desire is to help others who are suffering through the loss of a loved one.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-5  NIV

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Relationship Is Important

hand clasp

Image by wader via Flickr

At Faith Barista this week we are discussing the question, “How do you spend time with God and experience spiritual rest?”  Click on the Faith Barista graphic on my right side bar to find out how others experience rest.

All good relationships require communication. If I want to have a better marriage I need to spend time with my husband. We need to talk. Laugh. Cry. Be goofy…..together. If I want to maintain my friendships I have to find time to get together. Chat on the phone. Walk together. Talk together. If I want my relationship as a mother to be nurturing to my children, I need to take time to find out what is important to them. I email family and friends. We keep in touch. We reach out.  Without communication…without sharing… relationships die. Sometimes the death is long, slow and painful. Sometimes not.

I make time for the relationships that are important to me.

My relationship with God is no different. Some people would question me with, “How can you have a RELATIONSHIP with God? God is all about religion…and rules…and church.”  My reply is that God, and His son, Jesus are ALL ABOUT relationship. Yes, Jesus came to this earth in the form of man BECAUSE of relationship. God wants relationship with me, not because He NEEDS too, but because He WANTS too. Even though I have been a Christian for many, many years I am still in awe of the fact that the God of the Universe wants to know me….and even more importantly He wants me to KNOW Him.

Sometimes all I need to do, to experience spiritual rest, is to talk WITH Him, the one who knows me most intimately. I commune with the One who knows my heart.

Father,

I long for peace and rest

From You, who knows me best.

I stumble through my days

turning from Your gaze.

I am full of pride

thinking I can hide

all my stress inside

far from You.

Forgive me Father.

I am so stubborn.

I need rest.

Rest for my body.

Rest for my soul.

I need You.

Thank you for your provision for me.

As I draw close to You,

You draw close to me.

And I can rest in Your love.

Amen


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Snow. Again?!

Snowflakes!

Image by nutmeg66 via Flickr

I just returned from a two day trip. As I was driving back into the state, I saw that it was snowing. What?! It’s a wonder we don’t all keel over from this crazy weather. We’ll all catch our death. Just a light jacket one day and then it’s snowing. Should we all get our parkas back out? My mom bought me some super cool zebra print boots for the Spring mud season. I suppose they would work in the snow too. Ugh.

As I sit here at the kitchen table I see the big, fat flakes falling outside. A lot of them. This is crazy. April Fools Day isn’t until Friday, ’cause this is a joke, right?

(P.S.) To those of my loyal readers that have been following the mouse saga….I hear them again.They are back. I guess I need to serve up the “green pellet” buffet again. If you are a mouse lover, don’t talk to me. Joe,the cat, caught one too. Mice reproduce way too fast. Just sayin’. And now with all this new snow they will be cold outside, and want to come in to warm up. Listen up little micey, this is NOT the Motel 6!!!!  I love all of God‘s creatures with the exception of small little field mice that want to become my room mates.

I will blog tomorrow after I unpack, and after giving a pep talk to the cats about needing to “patrol the perimeter” for incoming rodents.

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The Barns Of NorthWest Ohio

Sun bleached.

Rain beaten.

Utilitarian buildings

that are beacons

to the farming way of life.

Barns standing

over the years

as a reminder of those

that work the land

and raise the animals.

Strong. Sturdy. Dependable.

Though my family does not farm, we are surrounded by those who do.

I am thankful for them.

Each day, I am reminded more and more of God’s grace.

Wonderful. Amazing. Grace.

I have much to be thankful for…we all do.

I continue with my list of thanks, my eucharisteo, to the One who gives the moments. Each one a gift.

#350 laughter

#351 time spent with the ones I love

#352 contentment

#353 family

#354 deep conversations

#355 warm chocolate chip cookies

#356 non-busy Friday night

#357 Saturday afternoon

#358 my son cleaning the kitchen for me

#359 soft cats

#360 bedtime

If you want to learn more about Eucharisteo, click on the Multitudes on Monday graphic on my right side bar.

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A Time To Come Near

Country Church

A time for prayer

and wonder.

A time for quiet

and contemplation.

A time for praise

and song.

A time to read

and study.

A time to give

and share.

New International Version (©1984)
Come near to God and he will come near to you…James 4:8

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What Is My Worth?

Our Kitchen Counter

Image by Josh Michtom via Flickr

The morning is quiet.

Time to think…before the day begins

I prepare breakfast.

Pour coffee

Wipe down counters

Notice the fur bunnies that need to be swept

See the explosion in the microwave, that needs to be cleaned

Remember an activity the kids want to attend

Remind children of school work that needs completed

There is laundry to wash before a trip

The big and little things that make up the life of a mom

My life

Sometimes the day to day is overwhelming….other days I am bored.

I look in the mirror.

I wonder what my life is worth?

On days when I don’t feel like what I do is exciting, or interesting…

When I feel trapped in the mundane

I am reminded of what I am truly worth to the One that loves me beyond measure.

It is WHO I know that gives me value.

It is WHAT I know about Him that brings me worth.

It is WHERE I go that fills me.

It is WHEN I go that humbles me.

It is WHY I go

To live……

 

New International Version (©1984) Luke 12:24
Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

New International Version (©1984) Hebrews 11:26
He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward.

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. I Peter 3: 3-4 NIV

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Graffiti Art

Train & Graffiti

I can hear the sound of the whistle. The train is nearby. The ground shakes as the freight moves closer. Flashing lights.

I got stopped yesterday at the RR crossing in town. The train was long…and it was in no hurry. I sat for 12 minutes, parked, as the cars rolled by. There is something about a train. I’m not sure what it is…almost mesmerizing…the clack, clack, clack as the cars pass over the rails. Trains slow us down. Whether we like it or not. Yesterday, I chose to like it.

Since I was the first car at the guard, I had a great view of the train car graffiti. Have you ever had opportunity to really look at the graffiti that is sprayed  all over the train? Honestly, a lot of it was really good stuff. I know people should not spray paint on other people’s property. It is vandalism. That is just the truth. But, if I owned a train I think I’d hire some kids to “paint” it. Um….I’d call it something like “Art On The Rails”.

One graffiti artist had painted an entire person on the car.  I was thoroughly impressed with the detail.

As it turns out, the brief intermission of rail road art was just what I needed.

Living in the moment.

Enjoying something as simple as graffiti.

And I drove away, smiling.

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In His Grip

Picture of Horatio Spafford

Image via Wikipedia

This month at Faith Barista we are talking about rest. Click on the Faith Barista graphic on my right side bar and join us!

This song always makes me think of rest. Emotional rest… even in the storms of life.

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio Spafford

You cannot fully understand this song, unless you know the whole story.

It is powerful.

It’s much easier to say “it is well with my soul”,  when everything is going well. Life goes according to plan. The waters are glassy smooth. It’s not as easy to sing this song when bruised and broken. When tears flow and hearts leak. When the waves pound hard.

But, it is at those times when the words of this song have the most meaning…

Tired of struggling. Exhausted from treading water. Almost down for the count.

He reaches out.

The hand that grips me strong.

And doesn’t let go.

When the wind and waves threaten

He gives me emotional rest

A calm

In the midst of the storms.



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Letting Go Of Expectations

Great Expectations (1999 film)

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever read something and realized it was YOU the writer was talking about? Okay, well maybe not really you, but it may as well have been. The words hit so close to home that you look over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching you, as you read…

I’ve finished One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I’m reading it again. It’s that good. On pages 168-169, Ann discusses “expectations”. During book club it was discussed that expectations are premeditated resentments.

Ouch.

How many times have I let my expectations, ruin the moment? How many times have I expected something, only to see that others can’t meet that bar? How many times have I expected perfection in the moment, only to be sorely disappointed? I struggle with the way I think things “should be”. When things don’t turn out the way I had hoped, I am left frazzled, irritated, and resentful.

Resentment. I know it well. I wish I didn’t.

That insidious word, feeling, has stolen my joy on numerous occasions.

It builds up inside of me, until it blinds me to all else. I can no longer see the joy of the moment because resentment has me standing in darkness.

I bite the words as they come out of my mouth. Hard and bitter.

I need to let the expectations go.

Do I want to enjoy the moment that God gave me, or do I want to “be right”?

“Expectations, kill relationships”, Ann surmises. I tend to agree.

I’m a work in progress.

Joy is in the moment.

I’m learning to “let go” so I can enjoy the moments God has given me. The lessons are not simple, nor easy.

All of life is learning.

It’s hard to stay resentful… if I’m giving thanks. The two don’t mix well. I will continue with eucharisteo.

Amen.

We are discussing “letting go” this week at A Holy Experience. If you would like to read more, click on my Walk With Him Wednesdays graphic on my right side bar.

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Move Over Montana…We’ve Got Big Sky Too!

The Barn And Pasture

Our House In The Background

Who says that only Montana is “Big Sky” country?  Would you look at that beautiful sky with the big puffy clouds!

Ohio has some pretty sky too. I want to lay on my back in the front yard.

I love living in the country.

I soak it all in.

Time slows down.

I feel blessed to be able to experience this.

Some times the best things in life,  are also the most simple.

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