Really, Real Housewives

The Real Housewives of New York City

Image by bbcworldservice via Flickr

I had a blogging buddy recently post about the show, Real Housewives. She can’t stand it. The other day, I saw some favorite news anchors talking about Kelsey Grammer‘s “real housewife” and the couple’s imminent divorce. Now, that’s some reality for ya. I’ve only caught the show when surfing the cable channels. If this insane display is reality than I must be living in la-la land…and quite happy to be there!

Here is my take on REAL housewives. I have some life experience in this department.  This could get gritty, but if you are interested in REALLY, REAL housewives than buckle up and hang on tight. Here goes…


1. Love their husbands…they don’t just use their husbands. They care about what he thinks, how he feels. They see each other on a regular basis because they LIKE each other. This doesn’t happen on reality TV.

2. They get up with their sick children. Hold puke buckets. Or hold their hair while they throw up in the toilet. They clean up the vomit that doesn’t make it to the toilet. They rock their children. They hold their hands. They rub their backs. They sit with them. They sing to them. They pray for them. They love them.

3. Have jobs that are never done. Some wives work outside the home. Some don’t. Both are valid. I have yet to meet a housewife or mom that sits by the pool on a daily basis, sipping drinks with umbrellas in them while making calls to her manicurist or pet groomer.

4. Wear jeans or khakis on most days. Yoga or sweat pants are also an option. Most don’t shop at fru-fru boutiques, or spend $5,000 on a dress just to go out to lunch with their peeps.Most women aren’t runway models, and even if they were, hopefully they’d have enough common sense to realize that they’d be just as pretty in jeans and a T-shirt.

5. Are so busy that they can’t remember their own names, much less schedule “girl time” at a swanky restaurant, where they’ve have to drop a grand for food that would barely feed a mouse.  Then while eating, talking about each other and talking behind the back of whoever isn’t at the lunch. Really, real housewives have their family and friends backs ’cause that’s how we roll.

6. Don’t have “procedures” done to their bodies. Most, are just stuck with whatever God gave ’em. Stomach a little flabby after having babies? Buy a workout video at WalMart. Getting some gray hair? Have it dyed—salon, or at home. Whichever works. Crows feet? Dab on extra eye creme. Need whiter teeth? Change toothpaste.  It’s called the real world.

7. Live out of their mini van. This is obvious from the empty coffee cups, stale french fries in the back seat cushions, and soccer shoes that slide around on the floor. Really, real housewives don’t have chauffeurs, they ARE the chauffeurs.

8. Cook meals for the family…and not just for show. Real home made food. That tastes good. Foods whose names can be pronounced correctly, even if one isn’t French.

9. Go grocery shopping. Do price comparisons. Buy store brands. Aren’t afraid of discount stores.

10. Will never know fame or fortune…and they are okay with that. They are smart enough to know that the most important things in life can’t be bought…not even if one is a reality TV star.

Moving Furniture And Other Big Stuff

sofa club

Image via Wikipedia

I am a recovering furniture mover. I used to constantly change my furniture set up. I’d get tired of the couch being in front of the window, so I’d move it to the wall. The chair didn’t look good in the corner anymore so I’d set it over next to the end table. It was an illness of which I could find no cure.

My late husband drove a truck. The hours for a truck driver are bizarre…sometimes he would get in, in the middle of the night. I’d be awakened by a bang and a thump and a few mutterings under his breath. Opps. I guess he didn’t see that I moved the recliner over to the other side of the room. He never knew what to expect from me.You’d think he would have learned to flip on the lights to check out the layout of the room before preceding into the house.

The past several years I haven’t had the opportunity to move furniture on a near monthly basis. Before we moved, the old house was stacked with boxes. No space to move anything. Once we moved to the new house and unpacked everything, rearranging furniture seemed a chore. The couch has stayed in the same place for the past year and a half. It makes me nervous. Sigh.I’ve worked more on accessories. Easier to move. Less back strain.

Last night I got a little twitch while looking at my library/office. I’m thinking that I want to move the sofa and desk and scoot a few book shelves around. This could be dangerous. It is driving me nutty. I’m not going to be satisfied until I do something. Anything. I’m becoming desperate.

Why must furniture moving be my addiction? I’m going to end up with a hernia and sore muscles.

Is there such a thing as furniture intervention?