The Time Of My Life

Hour Glass

Image by andrusdevelopment via Flickr

Time is a blessing.

On most days, we feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. We scurry around trying to get all the things checked off on our to do lists. We make appointments, try to squeeze in a few hours of sleep, and work, while we watch the clock. Time doesn’t always feel like a blessing. Sometimes time feels like a curse, especially when we feel we don’t have enough of it.We are hardly ever satisfied with time.

The other day I was pondering, time. I was thinking about how time has affected me. Changed me. How my whole life is different–and time has played a role in that. On rough, hard days time mercifully brought night and sleep…knowing “this too shall pass”.  On other days time brought a beautiful sunrise and the excitement of a new day. There are moments in time that are etched forever in my memory. For good and bad. But time has never stopped.

In 1986, I graduated from high school. I smiled as I walked across the stage to accept my scholarship. I knew that my time in high school was well spent.

In 1990 I graduated from college. I knew my degree would allow me to spend time doing what I loved…teaching.

In 1992 I married in the heat of July in the South. In tons of taffeta and lace. And I wondered to myself, why did I pick this time of year?

In 1994 I found out I was pregnant. Time had a whole new meaning to me…as I waited.

In 1998 when my son was three, I wanted time to slow down. Three years old. It was a great year. I wanted to remember everything. Absolutely everything.

In 1999 my husband was diagnosed with a terminal heart disease. Each moment became important. We began to realize that he would not live to old age. And time seemed cruel.

In 2000, when the emergency doctors and nurses yelled, “Code Blue” time stood still. I felt as if I was caught in a slow motion machine. Unable to move as the medical personnel swarmed my husband.

After the funeral, evenings became long…not sure how to fill my time. A new kind of normal.

Five years of widowhood. I realized time doesn’t stop for anyone…and my son and I were going to be okay. Time was therapeutic.

December 2005 . Remarriage. Vows.  A new life. Time seemed promising.

Teenagers in the house…not many years left with them before they move on to their own independence. Time seems to be moving at warp speed.

My husband and I in our 40’s. Within the next decade, facing the “empty nest”. Time has possibilities.

And here I sit. On January 13, 2011. A new year is just beginning. I have no idea what it will hold for me. It’s kind of exciting, and a little scary.

Because time stops for no one.

 

 

 

5 thoughts on “The Time Of My Life

  1. Dawn, I could totally relate to your post especially how time stands still in certain moments. A few years ago, I almost lost my hubby-I will never forget them calling a code and bringing the cart in. He had a bad reaction to an antibiotic he was taking for a sinus infection.
    Those moments really teach you what is truly important in this life we are given. Now, my father in law has been diagnosed with cancer and things are put into even more perspective with the family. Thanks so much for sharing this post.
    Blessings to you my friend.

  2. Nice post reflecting emotions.
    True, people chase things that seem to matter, which over a long period of time lose relevance.
    We constrain ourselves with time forgetting that time is a force of nature which will affect us to the extent we allow it.
    We have adapted ourselves to other forces like water,fire ,air and earth because we have learned not to be dictated by them to the maximum extent possible .
    We have , over a period of time( again I am using the word time) allowed ourselves to be dictated by it.
    Why do people want to save time?
    To find more time which we are likely to save?
    Ultimately any human activity is meant for Happiness or to avoid pain.
    Let us not be ruled by time ; let us keep time as an indicator not a decider of Life ,we must also realize, that the world has been , is and shall be ,not because of us but despite us.
    Let us not assume that we control every thing from children, career and the choices presented to us.
    Let us live and not think about organizing or managing life for Life is to live.
    Bury the past,do not think about future or results for any action performed by you.
    Do what your Heart tells you,not Brain.
    Life is a flux.Live the present be content with what you have than ‘what was or could have been’.
    Have faith.(It could be any thing).
    You shall be happy.

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