I’m Goin’ In!!!

A picture of a New Balance shoe

Image via Wikipedia

I have been talked in to participating in Black Friday. Me and my posse’ are hitting the stores at midnight.We’re roaming the streets until the early morning hours. ‘Cause that’s how we roll.

1. Why I allowed myself to be talked into this…just proves that my mind is going.

2. I’m wearing my running shoes in case of any stampeding going on.

3. I hope I don’t get beaten down by some big mama hyped up on caffeine.

4. I’m a little nervous.

5. People get crazy over a good sale. If I’m in the way of someone getting a big flat screen TV…I could get shanked at the Wal-mart and left to meet my Maker laying on the floor at Wally World, forced to listen to canned Christmas music as my life ebbs away.

6. Why am I being so dark and morbid?

7. I’ll tell you why.

8. I’ll be out in the middle of the night…in the dark and cold….with 90 bazillion other people, strung out on over doses of turkey and mashed potatoes.

9. Hyped up on caffeine.

10. It’s a deadly combination.

If for some reason I don’t blog tomorrow…you’ll know why. I’m either sound asleep after my night life of shopping ’til I drop….or well, I’m dead. Run over by a mob of crazy Christmas shopping mamas-on-a-mission.

Thanksgiving Facts About Me

A domestic turkey.

Image via Wikipedia

The odd. The unusual. And the downright scary.

1. My husband does the turkey. I am creeped out by the cold turkey skin. And if there are any pin feathers that happen to still be stuck on it….gag.

2. A bare naked turkey in the crock pot, oven roasting pan, or deep fryer….whatever. It looks creepy to me.

3. I don’t like to know what the meat looked like “before”.

4. That is the reason I could never own a beef cow. I would name it. I would pet it.  It would be my friend. It would make it difficult to eat. And I like hamburgers so….that just wouldn’t do.

5. I really like pumpkin pie, or really any kind of pumpkin dessert. I like to buy pumpkin in a can. Too bad it doesn’t grow like that in the garden:)

6. I also like green bean casserole, creamy corn, sweet potatoes, dressing, and apple pie….with vanilla ice cream.

7. I like too many of the Thanksgiving foods. It’s a curse.

8. This isn’t looking good.

9. I will have to do A LOT of T-tapping to make up for today. I wonder how much sweating I’ll be forced to do to make up for the gluttony?

10. Of course, it takes 15 million hours in the kitchen for MAYBE 20 minutes of eating. That stinks. I think the cooking and baking should be an Olympic sport. Sort of like a relay race.

11. Then just when one is in a turkey induced coma…..

12. There is Black Friday.

13. Insanity.

14. I usually don’t go anywhere near stores on this day.

15. But Brittany wants me to go with her this year.

16. God, help me.

17. I could be killed in a stampede.

18. I could end up on the 6’oclock news.  Black Friday death. It sounds like a plague, doesn’t it?

19. In the meantime I will be thankful. Because I have a lot to be thankful for.

20. Counting my blessings.