Snake Wrangling

Line art drawing of a black snake.

Image via Wikipedia

Snakes really aren’t my favorite creature ever created. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Those that love snakes would tell me, “Snakes get a bad rap. They are not really scary. They help to control the rodent population.” Yada….yada….yada. Whatever, people. Let’s face it, one can’t pet or snuggle with a snake. Snakes have fangs. They bite with those fangs, if agitated. Giving a snake a hug could prove dangerous, especially if said snake is a boa constrictor. Just sayin’. How many of us have ever heard of snakes called Fifi, or Fido? No? No! One hears names like Squeeze or Viper. Sorry. It’s just not a love relationship with me. As long as snakes stay outside in the fields they are safe. If they come near my house….they might be separated from their head. Just sayin’.

My aunt emailed me the other day. She was down in the basement of her house and came across a snake skin. Not the kind of thing a woman wants to find in her house. Spiders. Check. An occasional mouse. Check. Check. A long snake skin. Oh, no I don’t think so! She promptly did what any God-fearing woman would do. She called an exterminator. The first guy said they didn’t work with snakes, but he’d put her in touch with someone who did. (Good, make it snappy, Mister!)

A young woman showed up. She went down into the basement to check things out. Uh huh….definitely a snake skin. After some investigation and caulking of any holes, she declared that the snake was long gone. The basement was snake free. She even guaranteed her work for 10 years. (Better be!)

She informed my aunt that it is illegal to kill snakes in the state of Maryland. Say what?! Yep. I didn’t believe it either, but it is true. I guess if I still lived in Maryland that my picture might be hanging in the post office, under the most wanted criminals section. A hardened snake killer. If a snake was in my house he’d deserve what he got. So there.

The young female snake wrangler was at the house for maybe a half hour…and my aunt had to fork over several hundred dollars. I’m thinking I might have my children consider snake wrangling as their desired career. They could make the big bucks. Enough money to help keep me in the lap of luxury in my old age. If they are really good they might be able to have their own cable TV show, sort of like Dog The Bounty Hunter. I would be so proud.


One thought on “Snake Wrangling

  1. First of all, I totally woke up early one morning, walked into my kitchen and saw what I initially thought was a 4 foot long snake skin hanging out alone on the kitchen floor. I immediately high-tailed it back to the bedroom (as quickly as I could while looking over my shoulder, waiting for a 10-foot snake to attack me) and got my husband up. He shot out of bed and into the kitchen only to proclaim it was actually a lizard skin. Oh. Okay. Then why am I freaked out? Silly Kim, what could a 4-foot lizard POSSIBLY do to you? Seriously, I’m SUCH a wimp!!!

    Secondly, I would watch your back. I’m pretty sure you could still be extradited.

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