Mom-ism’s

I have a book full of mom-ism’s. It always gives me a good laugh. I thought I’d share some today to give everyone a good chuckle. If you are a mom you will totally understand. If you are a son or daughter you will also “get it”.  I have chosen to add my own take on each of these  timeless nuggets of wisdom. Enjoy!

–I don’t know is not an answer! (and if I don’t know the answer either, I will fake it. I’m a mom, it’s my job.)

–I just want what’s best for you. (and what’s best for you is for you to do what I say.)

–If all the other kids jump off the bridge (or cliff) are you going to, too? ( Son, don’t answer that!….especially, if you have a child who would seriously try to be Evil Kneivel. Next thing you know you’re sitting in the emergency clinic.)

–If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. (I already know your opinion and I’m choosing to ignore it.)

–I’m not running a taxi service. (I’m finding out the going rate for taxis…I will be deducting it from your allowance.)

–Isn’t it past your bedtime? ( I don’t care if you are eighteen. Go to sleep already!)

–Life isn’t fair. (This is an understatement. Go with it.)

–Look at me when I’m talking to you. ( I will stare at you with laser beam eyes drilling through your head, until you look at me.)

–Now, say you’re sorry and act like you mean it. ( I said act like you mean it! Don’t stick out your tongue. Don’t roll your eyes. That’s it! I’m coming over there!)

–Some day you will thank me for this. (Yes, you will! You might be 92 when you come to this realization…but, I don’t care.)

–Some day when you have kids you’ll understand. ( Oh boy! I can’t wait. Grandchildren. Spoil them and send them home for YOU to deal with. Yea!  Revenge is sweet.)

–Were you born in a barn? ( Don’t think I haven’t thought about that. You and the horse could be room mates.)

–What part of NO don’t you understand? ( Am I speaking English…um…yes, yes I am. And the answer is still NO!)

–When I was a little girl… ( I never gave my parents one bit of grief. I was an angel straight from heaven. NO you may not call grandma to verify this fact. What, are you calling me a liar? Go to your room!)

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